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Band 6

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

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In recent decades, some people
argue
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have argued
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 that financial
subjects
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 need to be included in fundamental
subjects
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 in
school
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 classes like mathematics, science and languages
while
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 others disagree with
this
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 view. I strongly believe that it is significantly beneficial for children to become financially intellectual which provides positive effects to be independent. I will discuss
this
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 issue by using examples to support arguments and demonstrate points.
Firstly
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, it is undoubtedly proven to be mandatory for instructors to cover a syllabus of financial
education
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 systems in institutional facilities. Since most students comparatively tend to concentrate on academic achievements like the acquisition of high scores on formal examinations, they feel difficulty solving problems when they encounter financial aspects in their lives.
For example
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, an experiment in South Korea showed that a teenager who
obtain
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obtained
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 a better understanding of financial
subjects
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 had a tendency to be independent with problem-solving skills.
Thus
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, it is essential for teenagers to gain financial knowledge through
school
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subjects
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 for their future.
On the other hand
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, some people claim that
school
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 teachers still ought to focus on educating mandatory
subjects
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 for students. A fundamental reason is that as judgements or examinations about students’ achievements are based on high scores in fundamental
subjects
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 exams, the circumstance allows youngsters to enrol in higher
education
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 institutions with the scores, not the financial intelligence.
For instance
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, the decision-making about
further
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education
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 mostly is decided by score-based systems in most nations.
Therefore
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, governments should carefully consider covering another syllabus for an additional subject. In conclusion, since we are living in an era where stocks, investments and ETFs are prevalent, financial
education
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 should be encouraged to be included as one of the mandatory components of
school
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 classes because of its benefits.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. Illustrate connections between points and paragraphs with a variety of cohesive devices.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced argument with substantive examples, ensuring that both sides of the argument are examined with equal thoroughness before expressing a personal stance.
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