Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Nowadays, many

people

Use synonyms

argue that a person’s

happiness

Use synonyms

depends on

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

various factors, some of them believe that having a huge sum of

money

Use synonyms

can give a feeling of great joy.

However

Linking Words

, there are many other

things

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

good family

relationships

Use synonyms

or self-accomplishment in life which make a person feel happy. The main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

having

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of

money

Use synonyms

is that it allows

people

Use synonyms

to live in a luxury. In fact,

money

Use synonyms

provides to purchase luxuries and experiences that can bring joy and pleasure

such

Linking Words

as travel, expensive

things

Use synonyms

and material comfort.

For instance

Linking Words

, buying

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

apartments

Fix the agreement mistake

apartment

show examples

or expensive

cars

Fix the agreement mistake

car

show examples

can make habitants feel cheerful and satisfied because it increases their social status.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, wealth can

also

Linking Words

give

people

Use synonyms

ability

Add an article

the ability

show examples

to help others and it brings a positive impact

Change preposition

show examples

their community and

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

show examples

of fulfilment for them.

However

Linking Words

, there are many other

things

Use synonyms

that can bring

happiness

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. One of them is strong

relationships

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with family which lead to joy in life. When

people

Use synonyms

have great

relationships

Use synonyms

with their loved ones and friends, they can share

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their feelings with them.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can reduce stress levels, increase

happiness

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and give

feel

Add an article

the feel

a feel

show examples

of care

from

Change preposition

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

people

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, achieving a goal in life can make

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

feel satisfied and feel happy.

For instance

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, some studies have shown that good kinship, sense of purpose and accomplishments are key

Change preposition

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

can definitely lead to

luxury

Correct article usage

a luxury

show examples

lifestyle and

buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

many

things

Use synonyms

which

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

relationships

Use synonyms

with family and personal growth can

also

Linking Words

affect to person’s jollity.

Allazhar

Mar 4, 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Organized tours to remote areas and communities are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?”

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative trend?

Some say thatr advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Topic: Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?