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Writing Samples
Band 7

MANY YOUNG PEOPLE SPEND MUCH OF THEIR FREE TIME IN SHOPPING MALLS.THIS HAS A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THEM AND SOCIETY. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DIS AGREE?

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The phenomenon of youngsters going shopping in their spare time has aroused wide concern among circles. Some reckon that it will affect their academic result and bring disadvantages to society.
However
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, I disagree with the above statement. Of all the reasons why I support students should bring more time shopping, probably the essential one is that teenagers
is
Change the verb form
are
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 that they can relax when they spend money in malls. Nowadays, students are under great pressure
due to
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 their studies. In Hong Kong, a survey finds out that a lot of teens have committed suicide before because they cannot find a way to release the pressure. Since researchers reckon that happiness can be brought in the process of buying new things, it is a method for kids to wind up. In terms of society, it can boost the economy. Adolescents usually have an affection for trendy and brand-new products.
For example
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, teens like buying clothes, accessories and food. When they go to shopping centres, they may easily get attracted by those products and purchase them.
Hence
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, it brings profits to shops and they pay more tax to the government. Since
then
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, the government can use it to deal with problems,
such
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 as poverty.
To conclude
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, it seems to me that children visiting shopping malls can help them get rid of pressure and increase income in society.
Therefore
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, I don't agree with the statement.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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