IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Nowadays, the government has proposed reducing
transport
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pollution
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 by investing in the public
transport
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 system and lowering ticket
prices
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. I agree with
this
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 statement because investing in
transportation
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 systems will provide convenient public
transport
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, and
people
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 tend to
use
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 public
transportation
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 when it is cheaper.
To begin
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 with, investing in public
transportation
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 will help reduce
pollution
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. Creating a more convenient public
transport
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 system,
such
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 as easy access to tickets (online) and integration between trains and buses, will make it the first choice for
people
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.
For example
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, Jakarta currently has several public
transportation
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 options that are integrated with each other.
People
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 know exactly where the stations or terminals are located and can track the schedule for departures and arrivals, which is beneficial for them. If civilians
use
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 public
transportation
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, it will
also
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 reduce traffic congestion.
In addition
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, reducing ticket
prices
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 will contribute to
pollution
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 reduction.
Pollution
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 from cars or motorcycles significantly contributes to air
pollution
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in particular
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 areas,
according to
Linking Words
 Harvard Research in 2022. Attracting
people
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 to
use
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 public
transportation
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 by reducing ticket
prices
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 will be successful and gain support from some stakeholders. The government should address
this
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 situation and collaborate with other entities (State-Owned Enterprises, Economic Departments, and
Transportation
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 Departments).
Thus
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, making public
transportation
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prices
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 affordable or even cheaper than using a single vehicle will impact
pollution
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 reduction. In conclusion, reducing
pollution
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 from
transportation
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 in the future is achievable. Attracting
people
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 to
use
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 public
transportation
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 by offering cheaper
prices
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 and making it convenient are key reasons for success. The government must be supported by key stakeholders to succeed in
this
Linking Words
 initiative.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples and data to strengthen your argument. For instance, data on how reduced ticket prices have impacted public transport usage in other cities would add robustness to your argument.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive. Some of the points can be elaborated further for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve the overall fluidity of your essay. While the essay is coherent, a bit more effort on transitions could enhance it further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction that states your position and a logical conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
You provided strong arguments for why investment in public transport and reducing ticket prices can reduce pollution, supported by relevant examples like Jakarta's public transportation system.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
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