IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.

The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.
#show #sale #five #kinds #jam
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The assigned line chart illustrates the information about the sale of five different kinds of
jam
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Strawberry , Raspberry , Grape, Cherry and Plum between 2009 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is lucid that, the different kinds of
jam
Use synonyms
 in strawberry, raspberry and grape
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 an upward trend.
However
Linking Words
, the downward trend
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was followed by cherry and plum. At a fleeting glance, it is immensely clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the sale of
jam
Use synonyms
 in plum in
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century was around 2.5%.
while
Linking Words
 it rapidly declined was 0% in 2014.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , the cherry
jam
Use synonyms
 between 2009 and 2012
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 3%
then
Linking Words
 it slightly declined
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 2.8% in the later year. After that, the grape was approximately 0.5% in 2009 and
then
Linking Words
 climbed continuously in the given period of time.
Further
Linking Words
 scrutinizing the chart, the strawberry was higher than 3% in 21 century ,
then
Linking Words
 it
was remained
Change to the active voice
remained
show examples
 the same
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 3.5% in 2010. After that, it peaked at 7% in 2014.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the
raspbery
Correct your spelling
raspberry
 was less than
nearby
Correct your spelling
nearly
show examples
 2.8% in 2009. whilst, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slowly rose
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 5% after 4 years
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
,
stablized
Correct your spelling
stabilized
stabilised
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 5.5% in 2014.
Submitted by daljeetchanna93 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words jam with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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