some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while other say that they should think more realistically about their future. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many

people

argue that one's career should be something in which they are interested,

while

others believe that young

people

should think more carefully about their future and consider society's needs. Personally, I think that everyone has the right to decide for themselves and choose their future

job

based on their talents, not what society needs them to be.

This

essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, it is evident that

people

can not perform well in a field which they do not fancy.

Thus

, children should be encouraged to study a subject that they are passionate about.

This

can be achieved by helping them to find their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

subject at school and

support

Wrong verb form

supporting

show examples

their decisions and interests. Take a doctor who studied medicine because of her parents as an example, she might have been a significant actress if she followed her own dreams. In that

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

she would not have to face something that she despises on a daily basis.

Additionally

, it is highly possible for humans to change their minds and change their

job

later in life and

this

due to

a lack of interest in the

job

they are getting paid for.

On the other hand

, we should take poorer countries into consideration.

For instance

, the professionals from that country are likely to migrate to developed countries

due to

better

job

and life opportunities, which is quite understandable.

Therefore

, the community will need to train more doctors, scientists and engineers.

This

is why some

people

suppose that the community do not need artists and sports stars as much as diagnosticians and researchers. In conclusion, I tend to agree with the first group because

people

are more inclined to do their

job

if they have chosen it voluntarily,

however

, I think the governments should think of a solution for poorer nations.

Submitted by Vaniatbt11 on Tue Mar 07 2023

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, as this will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each main idea is supported with clear reasoning or evidence to improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing your point of view.

task achievement

Good attempt to cover both perspectives of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while other say that they should think more realistically about their future. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

living in a country where you have to speak a foreigen language can cause seriouse social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.