IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #products #medicines
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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, it’s suggested that there is no need for people to eat
animals
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 or consume clothes and pills that are made from creatures. I partly disagree with
this
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 statement. Admittedly, the phenomenon of hunting
animals
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 illegally to sell their skin or organs should be prohibited all over the world. People’s greed has already made countless species face the danger of extinction. Many clothes made of fur neither look beautiful nor could protect consumers from cold weather.
In other words
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, some individuals who purchased animal products may only apply to their curiosity, which was ruthless and should be blamed. My justifications are as follows.
Firstly
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, not all human beings can live without meat because humans are omnivores. Food
such
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 as pork, beef and chicken may be essential to many people’s daily life.
For instance
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, athletes may need to eat enough chicken to gain more muscles.
Secondly
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, some parts of
animals
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 are basic ingredients in many medicines. Without
such
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 products, many illnesses will become harder to be cured. What’s more, only a little raw material of the vast majority of animal products is really coming from real creatures and does negligible harm to them. Nowadays, it’s unnecessary to hurt or kill them on many occasions in order to get specific parts of
animals
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. In conclusion,
although
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 I do believe that we should limit the use of
animals
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 in production, I do not support
to
Change preposition
apply
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a totally cut down. Both efforts for governments to enact relevant laws to ban hunting and scientists to find replaceable elements are the key
truly
Change preposition
to truly
show examples
 reducing the utilization of living beings.
Submitted by xiangyiwan5 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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