IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes” Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#“some #people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative #crimes”
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People
Use synonyms
 have a myriad of views about the best option for preventing
crimes
Use synonyms
, some claim that expanding the
sentences
Change the noun form
sentence
show examples
 time is the best option, but others
argus
Correct your spelling
argue
show examples
 that there are
methots
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methods
would
Correct pronoun usage
that would
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 have
greater
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a greater
show examples
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
. Divergent as
people
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's views on
this
Linking Words
 issue in question may be, I personally believe that
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
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 in the prison for
longer
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a longer
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period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 is not
much
Add a missing verb
have much
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 effect
for
Change preposition
on
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 the purpose of reducing
crimes
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. On one hand, increasing
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 of sentences may able to prevent
crimes
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 since some
people
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 may
Add a missing verb
be afriad
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afriad
Correct your spelling
afraid
 of the consequence. Strict penalties would traffic
people
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 in turn control their actions.
For example
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, if pushing your waste on the street is illegal and it cause you
live
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to live
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 in the prison for a decade, I believe that no
people
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 would leave
the
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apply
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trash on the street.
Therefore
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,
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this
Change the determiner
these
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methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
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 achieve the goal of reducing
criminal
Correct article usage
the criminal
show examples
 rate. Despite the aforementioned views, I still believe that there are many others ways
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 decrease the
criminal
Replace the word
crime
show examples
 rate, and probably the most significant one is that force the offender to study working skills. Many
people
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 commit
crimes
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 because they
are
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apply
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lack of abilities or skills to get a job which
make
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makes
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 them can not earn money by working
as
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like
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 other normal citizens.
Finally
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, they steal from others for survival. So,
prison
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prisons
show examples
 should offer a second chance to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prisoners in order to prevent second
crimes
Use synonyms
. It is
also
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 a way of declining the crime rate. Under
this
Linking Words
 line of thinking, it seems to me that
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
sentences
Change the noun form
sentence
show examples
 period would prevent some
crimes
Use synonyms
accur
Correct your spelling
occur
.
However
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, giving opportunities for
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 is the
sulation
Correct your spelling
solution
simulation
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the root issue.
Hence
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, I believe that providing professional skills training
session
Fix the agreement mistake
sessions
show examples
 is a better option
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
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 situation.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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