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Band 8

Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge. To what extent is this a positive or a negative development?

#technology #individuals #download #music #books #internet #charge #development
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in downloading
books
 and
music
 from the internet. Despite the undeniable economic harm that copyrighted
books
 and
music
 have brought to their producers' lives, I intend to argue that the
overall
 benefits of
this
 are numerous. The reasons for
this
 are as follows. First of all, it is an irrefutable fact that the availability of
books
 and
music
 on the Internet for free would result in a significant decline in the number of published ones in the future. Downloading copyrighted products would cause a decline in publishers' income, resulting in a loss of interest and motivation to produce new ones.
According to
 the statistics , the number of authors and singers experienced a 20% drop from 2015 to 2021. It is,
therefore
, crucial to compensate for insufficient economic profit for publishers. Yet, perhaps the strongest argument in favour of
this
 issue is a reduction in ecological damage. Having online access to
books
 and
music
 has made cutting trees to produce papers and print
books
 redundant. A salient example of
this
 is Australia where the number of printed scientific
books
 plunged from 800000 in 2010, to 50000 in 2019.
Additionally
,
this
 approach has contributed to a significant increase in the studying hours per capita globally.
Although
this
 phenomenon has been accompanied by financial harm to the producers, I believe the environmental and societal merits are numerous By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
this
 evolution in technology has had a positive impact on the environment and human knowledge.
Also
, I think governments could take responsibility for financial loss to the producers.
Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on

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task achievement
Ensure all examples directly support the argument being made. The example about the decline of authors from 2015 to 2021 could be linked more explicitly to your thesis.
task achievement
Consider addressing opposing views more thoroughly to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a consistent tone and avoid mixing formal and informal language.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction that sets out your argument effectively.
logical structure
The essay has good paragraphing and logical progression of ideas.
supported main points
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which enhances the clarity of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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