In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #childrens #children #message

nowadays , there are a variety of cultures which encourage

children

to try hard

due to

achieve everything they want. in

this

essay

Add an article

an essay

the essay

show examples

I discuss the advantages and disadvantages of

this

method. achieving everything has one condition, you should try hard. if

children

this

sentence they will try more and more because motivation increased in their life. increasing their attempts and motivation

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

they reach their dreams plus goals and everything they love

as a result

they can work in a position that has been wanted since

children

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

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they understand

patience

in their life because they know that achieving their aims or dreams does not happen overnight and they must try more than usual for years ,

therefore

they practice

patience

and avoid rushing. For ,example

according to

Oxford ,University there is a direct connection between

patience

and bringing off to aim.their statistics are shown that people who are patient and

also

try hard can achieve everything rather than others. on the other ,hand

this

thinking has some disadvantages. wrong thinking arises in minds of

children

who accept

this

theory. they think that only their efforts are effective to gain anything and ignore the rest of the other factors

as a consequence

cannot carry off their dreams and get depressed. they should understand that their effort is one factor among thousands of factors to succeed and if they struggle hard they may arrive at everything.,

furthermore

a false self-confidence is created in them. they misunderstand their ability and will get everything to chance except their effort , so going to the wrong way in life and waste it.for ,instance my friend made an effort to play basketball but he wasn't tall. he thought everything is tried,

Correct word choice

but unfortunately

show examples

unfortunately

Add a comma

,unfortunately

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he could not get success after ten years and wasted his youth. in ,conclusion increasing motivation and

patience

among

children

are two advantages of

this

method and wrong thinking and

also

false self-confidence is two disadvantages of

this

advice.

Submitted by aamin.1245 on Thu Mar 09 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

inspiration
motivation
work ethic
resilience
self-confidence
self-worth
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
frustration
self-esteem
pressure
anxiety
individual effort
collaboration
social support
systemic factors
talent
opportunity
luck

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In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funds from government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?