In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

nowadays , there are a variety of cultures which encourage

children

Use synonyms

to try hard

due to

Linking Words

achieve everything they want. in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add an article

an essay

the essay

show examples

I discuss the advantages and disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

method. achieving everything has one condition, you should try hard. if

children

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

sentence they will try more and more because motivation increased in their life. increasing their attempts and motivation

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

they reach their dreams plus goals and everything they love

as a result

Linking Words

they can work in a position that has been wanted since

children

Use synonyms

Linking Words

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

they understand

patience

Use synonyms

in their life because they know that achieving their aims or dreams does not happen overnight and they must try more than usual for years ,

therefore

Linking Words

they practice

patience

Use synonyms

and avoid rushing. For ,example

according to

Linking Words

Oxford ,University there is a direct connection between

patience

Use synonyms

and bringing off to aim.their statistics are shown that people who are patient and

also

Linking Words

try hard can achieve everything rather than others. on the other ,hand

this

Linking Words

thinking has some disadvantages. wrong thinking arises in minds of

children

Use synonyms

who accept

this

Linking Words

theory. they think that only their efforts are effective to gain anything and ignore the rest of the other factors

as a consequence

Linking Words

cannot carry off their dreams and get depressed. they should understand that their effort is one factor among thousands of factors to succeed and if they struggle hard they may arrive at everything.,

furthermore

Linking Words

a false self-confidence is created in them. they misunderstand their ability and will get everything to chance except their effort , so going to the wrong way in life and waste it.for ,instance my friend made an effort to play basketball but he wasn't tall. he thought everything is tried,

Correct word choice

but unfortunately

show examples

unfortunately

Add a comma

,unfortunately

show examples

he could not get success after ten years and wasted his youth. in ,conclusion increasing motivation and

patience

Use synonyms

among

children

Use synonyms

are two advantages of

this

Linking Words

method and wrong thinking and

also

Linking Words

false self-confidence is two disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

advice.

aamin.1245

Mar 9, 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inspiration
motivation
work ethic
resilience
self-confidence
self-worth
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
frustration
self-esteem
pressure
anxiety
individual effort
collaboration
social support
systemic factors
talent
opportunity
luck

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In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

Topic: Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public?