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Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

#children #parents #part #time #job
The growing ones are recommended by their guardians to look for some side source of income during their ideal hours.
Such
 an act would make the children learn the value of money
however
 it may lead to the downfall of their grades. The main advantage of sending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters to look for a job is that they learn the importance of money short span of life. Learning the value of hard-earned notes make them responsible
as well as
 sensible human being. They realize not only that the notes do not grow on trees but
also
 understand that after
such
 an activity one has to spend money wisely. The fact that in a country like America, the child going for a job at
such
 an early time period becomes more successful in future, proves that learning these important things at a growing age helps the individual to be financially independent. One possible drawback of , going out for work for a long period may result in the deprecation of marks. If the student, goes out and works for like 10 hours per day there are chances that the learners will not be able to study properly for their tests leading to bad grades.
Additionally
, the work pressure distracts the pupils and half of the time, they may be present in class but mentally they are thinking about their task at their workplace. They are unable to balance their study and work life. Recent statistics by the colleges shows that working student obtains fewer marks as compared to those who are just studying.
To conclude
, the positive impact is that the person becomes more mature at
such
 an early age as they learn the importance of salary.
However
, the negative impact is that they fail in their assignments leading to an increase in their semester.
Submitted by pkaur3443 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should effectively summarize your main points without introducing new information. Your essay could benefit from a sharper focus in this regard.
task achievement
You have expressed some main advantages and disadvantages, but there is an uneven development of ideas. Aim to expand on your ideas more evenly, ensuring that each point is fully developed with specific examples and detailed explanation.
lexical resource
Be cautious of using words incorrectly ('ideal hours' should be 'idle hours') and ensure variety in your sentence structures. Aim to use a range of complex sentence structures to demonstrate your language skills.
grammatical range
Pay close attention to article usage and subject-verb agreement to avoid simple errors. Work on varying your sentence structures and ensure that punctuation is properly utilized to clarify meaning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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