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Band 8

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

#technologies #children #time #outweigh #experiences
In our rapidly evolving world, advancements in technology have revolutionised the nature of children's leisure, introducing a digital shift in their routines. The contentious issue of whether the benefits of
this
 transformation supersede its drawbacks is a topic that warrants scrutiny.
This
 essay will argue that despite the potential pitfalls, the positive implications of
this
 change, in terms of fostering creativity and facilitating learning, considerably outweigh the negatives. To commence with, new technologies have given rise to an interactive world where a learner can foster their innovation and cognitive abilities.
For instance
, applications
such
 as Minecraft or Roblox not only engage teenager during their free
time
 but
also
 promote their problem-solving skills, spatial reasoning, and ingenuity by encouraging them to build intricate structures and devise strategies.
Moreover
, a wealth of educational apps have been designed to gamify learning, thereby bridging the gap between leisure and education. Platforms like Khan Academy or Duolingo transform monotonous academic concepts into fun, engaging activities that stimulate intellectual curiosity.
However
, it is important to acknowledge the potential downsides. Prolonged exposure to screens could lead to sedentary lifestyles, thereby contributing to obesity and other health issues.
Additionally
, the risk of youngsters encountering inappropriate content or cyberbullying cannot be overlooked.
Nevertheless
, these disadvantages can be mitigated by parental supervision, limiting screen
time
, and promoting digital literacy from an early age.
While
 these concerns are valid, they should not detract from the fact that new technologies have reshaped the way youth spend their free
time
 into more constructive and engaging pursuits. In conclusion,
while
 the advent of new technologies has undeniably brought about certain challenges in the context of toddler's free
time
, the advantages of
this
 change are profoundly more significant. The shift towards a digital leisure landscape nurtures inventiveness, enriches learning experiences, and prepares the younger generation for a technology-driven future.
Submitted by ashissarker18 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay demonstrates a clear position and logical progression of ideas, try to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your writing.
task achievement
You have answered the task fully, providing a clear opinion and comprehensive ideas. To enhance task achievement, consider incorporating a broader range of specific examples, as this can enrich the argument and provide concrete evidence for your claims.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Enhanced learning opportunities
  • Deepen their understanding
  • Confines of the classroom
  • Cognitive development
  • Strategic thinking
  • Reduced face-to-face interaction
  • Hinder social skills development
  • Excessive screen time
  • Physical well-being
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Internet safety
  • Critical thinking
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