10/01/13: Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that career achievements play a pivotal role in culminating the meaning of

life

. From my perspective,

this

opinion is completely unconvincing, because a person’s

life

is only fulfilling when there is a combination of fortune, family and well-being. The following paragraphs would shed light on my viewpoint. Admittedly, advocates of

this

standpoint have their rational grounds.

First,

success in careers leads to a variety of economic benefits for job-seekers.

In particular

, stable jobs offer workers monthly earnings, which would increase as workers perform well and climb the career ladder. Even, enterprises provide treatments for employees’ families

such

as insurance or trips yearly.

Second,

successful businessmen were respected by society. Irrefragably, numerous individuals usually hope that they would successfully achieve their goals and already succeed as their role models. In reality, individuals are willing to pay large sums to listen to experiences from the CEO of Vietnamese ubiquitous groups. Despite the aforementioned merits, I still believe that a meaningful

life

needs more elements than money and fame.

First,

employees should have excellent well-being to enjoy their achievements. To be specific, several staff exchange their health to work in polluted workplaces which cause many respiratory diseases.

Consequently

, their savings are just enough for paying the hospital's fees.

In addition

, family and social relationships are of paramount importance to any worker. Especially, working environments are especially one of the reasons for stress

while

the family is always empathetic and helps job seekers to relax.

Moreover

, friends' meetings are

also

a feature which endows living standards. In conclusion, it is indisputable that succeeding in professions is the target of various individuals.

Nonetheless

, I still believe that a meaningful

life

is contributed by poverty, family and health.

Submitted by nttung.182 on Sat Mar 11 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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10/01/13: Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

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