Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals are of the opinion that going to
school
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at a very young age is essential for children,
while
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others assume that it is better to let them to go institutes when they get older.
This
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essay attempts to discuss both views and will
this
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writer’s perspective, meaning starting
school
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as soon as possible is more beneficial for juniors. On the one hand, children should be taught in educational institutions as becoming older to make sure that they can obtain sufficient love from their
parents
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. It is acknowledged that the young are likely to show their affection to anyone who treats them well or cares about them. For that reason, they may feel the love from their
parents
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once they spend them playing or taking after them. Thereby, it results in the case that when
parents
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put their offspring in an institute early, they will have affection for their teachers, who are closer to them and have longer conversations with them,
instead
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of their
parents
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.
On the other hand
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, the writer believes that acquiring a comprehensive education is the primary reason for starting an institute soon. It is valid that not all
parents
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have much time for their descendants because they are too busy with their work. As there is no time to educate children at home, they can have the possibility to be exposed to plenty of adverse things and will have no methods to avoid them.
Therefore
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,
instead
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of letting them at home, going to
school
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is the most optimal measure
due to
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the full education from the official. To be more specific, in educational institutions, the young are taught from the smallest things,
such
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as greeting somebody to the greater ones, namely ways to prevent being affected by wrongdoings.
For instance
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, most young people starting
school
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at the age of two are better at behaving rightfully than ones who go to
school
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at a later age. In conclusion, despite the key purpose of the juniors going to schools as early as possible is attributed to the fulfilling affection from their
parents
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,
this
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author still thinks that it is more advantageous for young people to be taken to institutions relating to education as they are taught comprehensively.
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Example
Ensure all points are supported sufficiently with relevant examples. While you included examples, such as young people starting school at age two being better at behaving rightfully, aim to provide more concrete evidence or studies to enhance credibility.
Sentence Structure
Keep your sentences concise for better clarity. Some of your sentences are complex and lengthy, which may confuse the reader. Simplify your sentence structure where possible.
Cohesion
Improve transitions and connections between your points. Although you've made an effort to connect your ideas, work on smooth transitions to maintain coherence. For instance, instead of starting a new idea abruptly, use appropriate linking words and phrases.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well structured. They effectively introduce and summarize the topic and your opinion, contributing positively to coherence.
Task Response
You have addressed both views of the topic and provided a balanced discussion. This shows a comprehensive response to the task, which is essential for a good score.
Vocabulary
Some of your vocabulary and expressions, like 'comprehensive education' and 'adverse things,' are strong and contribute to your overall language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social development
  • structured learning environments
  • essential skills
  • reading, writing, and arithmetic
  • social norms
  • undue stress and pressure
  • natural curiosity and creativity
  • unstructured play
  • emotional and psychological development
  • mature
  • rigors of formal education
  • natural developmental timeline
  • life skills
  • decision-making
  • problem-solving
  • informal learning
  • structured educational system
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