Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals are of the opinion that going to
school
at a very young age is essential for children, while
others assume that it is better to let them to go institutes when they get older. This
essay attempts to discuss both views and will this
writer’s perspective, meaning starting school
as soon as possible is more beneficial for juniors.
On the one hand, children should be taught in educational institutions as becoming older to make sure that they can obtain sufficient love from their parents
. It is acknowledged that the young are likely to show their affection to anyone who treats them well or cares about them. For that reason, they may feel the love from their parents
once they spend them playing or taking after them. Thereby, it results in the case that when parents
put their offspring in an institute early, they will have affection for their teachers, who are closer to them and have longer conversations with them, instead
of their parents
.
On the other hand
, the writer believes that acquiring a comprehensive education is the primary reason for starting an institute soon. It is valid that not all parents
have much time for their descendants because they are too busy with their work. As there is no time to educate children at home, they can have the possibility to be exposed to plenty of adverse things and will have no methods to avoid them. Therefore
, instead
of letting them at home, going to school
is the most optimal measure due to
the full education from the official. To be more specific, in educational institutions, the young are taught from the smallest things, such
as greeting somebody to the greater ones, namely ways to prevent being affected by wrongdoings. For instance
, most young people starting school
at the age of two are better at behaving rightfully than ones who go to school
at a later age.
In conclusion, despite the key purpose of the juniors going to schools as early as possible is attributed to the fulfilling affection from their parents
, this
author still thinks that it is more advantageous for young people to be taken to institutions relating to education as they are taught comprehensively.Submitted by [email protected] on
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Example
Ensure all points are supported sufficiently with relevant examples. While you included examples, such as young people starting school at age two being better at behaving rightfully, aim to provide more concrete evidence or studies to enhance credibility.
Sentence Structure
Keep your sentences concise for better clarity. Some of your sentences are complex and lengthy, which may confuse the reader. Simplify your sentence structure where possible.
Cohesion
Improve transitions and connections between your points. Although you've made an effort to connect your ideas, work on smooth transitions to maintain coherence. For instance, instead of starting a new idea abruptly, use appropriate linking words and phrases.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are well structured. They effectively introduce and summarize the topic and your opinion, contributing positively to coherence.
Task Response
You have addressed both views of the topic and provided a balanced discussion. This shows a comprehensive response to the task, which is essential for a good score.
Vocabulary
Some of your vocabulary and expressions, like 'comprehensive education' and 'adverse things,' are strong and contribute to your overall language proficiency.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.