IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology
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These days
technologies
 made a step beyond our imagination of the world.
Consequently
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of
people
 suppose that contemporary
technologies
,
such
 as
internet
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the internet
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, smartphones or
smart watches
Correct your spelling
smartwatches
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 are making
human
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humans
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 more communicative,
whereas
 others think
otherwise
.
This
 essay will elaborate
two
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on two
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 of these arguments and describe why I tend to agree with the former view. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that with the advent of the
Internet
Add a comma
,Internet
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 the majority of
people
 became addicted to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gadgets. They used to spend their time in front of laptops or using smartphones, preferring
talk
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to talk
show examples
 to
people
 virtually.
Hence
, it may cause isolation and can lead to
destruction
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the destruction
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 of
close
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the close
a close
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relationship
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relationships
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 between friends and relatives.
For instance
,
according to
the
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a
show examples
 survey of American psychologists, which was made in 2021,
people
 who work remotely,
online
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and online
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 experienced divorce more than offline employees.
However
,
on the other hand
,
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
 and other types of
technologies
 give humanity a huge opportunity to keep in touch with other
people
, who live in foreign countries.
Subsequently
, all who have
an
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apply
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access to
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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 are able to talk to any
people
, using video
call
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calls
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 or messenger.
Furthermore
, it is really beneficial in getting the special lessons, that you need. As an illustration, the vocal coach Cheryl Porter every year
teach
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teaches
show examples
 hundreds of singers from all over the world online through her course. Thereby, it helps to raise the
amount
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number
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 of her followers
in
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on
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 social networks.
To sum up
, even though modern
technologies
 in some cases might be a reason
of
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for
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person’s
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a person’s
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 isolation,
nevertheless
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,nevertheless
show examples
 it
also
 has
its
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their
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 positive sides. From my point of view, if to utilize all gadgets and other kinds of
technologies
 for the right purpose,
on the contrary
, it would
unit
Replace the word
unite
show examples
 millions of
people
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
What to do next:
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