IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. What extent you agree and disagree?Give your opinion from your experience.

Undoubtedly
Use synonyms
Children
Change noun form
Children's
show examples
behaviour
Use synonyms
 has been changing dramatically for a few years.It is claimed
Change preposition
by
show examples
some
parents
Use synonyms
 that Corporal punishment is one of the best ways to control their
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it may cause injury to their sensory and motor organ as well psychological impact on their health. On the one hand, some
parents
Use synonyms
 justify that , by application of physical punishment there is a short-term impact on
children
Use synonyms
's
behaviour
Use synonyms
. It has been seen that
due to
Linking Words
 the physical pain, the adolescents have stopped repeating the act and realised that their
parents
Use synonyms
 are not happy with the
behaviour
Use synonyms
 and
hence
Linking Words
 they self-controlled.Guardians
also
Linking Words
 observed that by using
this
Linking Words
 tool ,their sons and daughters become socialised and learn to behave properly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,There is adverse result to inflicting pain on these tiny tots.
Although
Linking Words
 for a short ,period they stop doing it in front of the elders in the long run they become more arrogant and aggressive.
This
Linking Words
 type of punishment does bring any difference in their inner mind.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,whenever they get a chacechace or alone they try it again. It has been seen in research that these young adults listen to
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 and understand the consequence of their
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 through a loving and motivating approach.In India, One ten years young boy was engaged in a bad habit of smoking.His uncle saw
this
Linking Words
 action and him punished.He stopped smoking for that moment but did not stop smoking.Later once his mother made him understand with her loving words how it is detrimental to health.
Hence
Linking Words
 ,
thereafter
Linking Words
 he stopped smoking. In Conclusion,
This
Linking Words
 essay argued that many are under the impression of having smacking
children
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best tool as it is effective immediately
however
Linking Words
,I completely denied it and in my opinion love and affection and making offspring understand the consequence of the deed are the best tools for their refined
behaviour
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: