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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world.Because of this,some people think the adverts for fast food should not be allowed in schools and colleges.

#childhood #obesity #world #people #adverts #food #schools #colleges
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It is an undeniable fact that childhood
obesity
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 has become more problematic for many developed nations. So, some intellectuals ascertain that fast cuisine should not be allowed in schools and colleges.
This
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 essay will discuss the main reasons behind
this
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obesity
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 and what needs to be taken to control it
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at
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in
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 the end.
To begin
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 with, childhood
fatness
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 has created more problems for children, who reside in developed nations indeed.
Firstly
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, the main reason for
this
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 phenomenon is because of not only diet but
also
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 their lifestyle, which is being followed by kids in well-developed countries.
For instance
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, The Newyork times published that 60 per cent of scions who are raised in the western union, are facing
obesity
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 problems
due to
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 consuming these junk foods, and street bytes, which are available outside, and these eateries will lead to drastic problems, which are main causes for juvenile overweight in fact.
In addition
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, the kids in rich territories have addicted to playing computer-based games
also
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 another reason for
this
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 scion
fatness
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.
Consequently
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, they reluctantly play outside, which will improve their chances of being overweight .
On the other hand
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, some people ascertain that in order to avoid
this
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 issue, these junk eateries will not be allowed in educational institutions indeed.
Consequently
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, students will eat only healthy cooking which is recommended by the dietician. So,
this
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 would reduce
fatness
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 , which will occur in the early stage in children.
For instance
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, schools in Japan are strictly banning outside foodstuff and providing a school-based meal, which will have a lot of nutrients in their meal.
In addition
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, these practices will not only improve the quality of feed but
also
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 reduce the chances of being early
obesity
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 . To summarize, after a thorough discussion of the above, it has been proven that childhood
fatness
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 has been observed in a lot of developed countries.
However
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, it is the best plan to avoid fast food in schools and colleges to mitigate juvenile
obesity
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.
Submitted by ravikrishna045 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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