Some people believe money is the best gift for teenagers, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is debatable whether the act of adults giving gifts to teenagers in the form of
money
positively or negatively influences development. From my perspective, both arguments are valid to a certain extent, but I am still in favour of the latter. The following paragraphs would shed light on my viewpoint. Admittedly, advocates of the first standpoint have their rational grounds.
First,
money
recipients would have opportunities to learn about finances via that sum of
money
. To be specific, parents are able to teach young adults about budget plan methods
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and using
money
properly to attain financial goals. In the long run, they would learn about ways to save
money
and essential skills in economic management.
Second,
receiving a bonus allows teenagers to appreciate the value of their hard work.
In particular
, adolescents are able to understand the value of
money
and effort in their careers when
money
is given as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
remuneration for outstanding achievements. In reality, in several schools in Viet Nam, schools always have a significant number of rewards by
money
if pupils have excellent attainments in academics or sports. Despite the aforementioned merits, I still believe that the latter brings about shortcomings. The most pertinent point is that receiving a gift in the form of
money
has destructive impacts on their personality
such
as laziness. To elaborate, individuals who easily receive
money
would allocate more time to playing than studying or working. Even worse, they could meet civilians who have bad characters, and be led astray. Another justification is that
this
practice could pose injustices to their families. Specifically,
this
trend could pose dissatisfaction in their households unless the giver distributes the bonus fairly among all members. In the long run,
this
practice would result in favouritism or partiality, even conflicts. In conclusion, it is indisputable that the value of
money
and the labour force endows teenagers with opportunities to learn about financial management.
Nonetheless
, I still reckon that the second pose destructive effects on residents' relationships and their development.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: