It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. Do you agree or disagree?

#technology #advances #cultures #two

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Nowadays, there is a phenomenon that more

technology

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develops significantly,

the

Correct word choice

and the

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old

culture

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is more likely to be removed. For that reason, it is difficult to progress with both. I strongly agree that it is not easy for people to keep their old

culture

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safe when/as

technology

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advances day by day. Because compared to the outdated

culture

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, high/advanced

technology

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gives us the opportunity to save

time

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and live longer in modern times. A primary factor contributing to not being able/the inability to progress both

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apply

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technology

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and traditional

culture

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at the same

time

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is that

technology

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produces many more goods than traditional methods produce. The rationale behind

this

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is that modern

technology

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is much faster in industrialisation, which can lead to an increase in the number of consumers.

For example

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, I was involved in a big railway construction project that required only two teams with no more than eighty employees for 18 months. A hundred years ago, a project just like

this

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one required over a thousand workers to work for over ten years using a traditional method.

Therefore

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, it is evident that using advanced

technologies

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plays a crucial role in saving

time

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. Equally important is the role of applying new

technologies

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to help people live longer than they used to in the past

due to

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applying traditional lifestyles to their

lives

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Such

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a factor ensures that scientists discovered a new way to extend the life expectancy of humans using microscope surgery. A clear example of

this

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can be seen in a recent case where New York University hospital’s doctors, using a microscope instrument, successfully executed brain surgery and extended the patient’s lifespan by fifteen years.

Thus

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, it is obvious that implementing medical

technologies

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in our

lives

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reinforces long

lives

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. In conclusion,

it is clear that

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advanced

technology

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can save us more

time

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and lengthen our

lives

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. As highlighted, using new

technologies

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in our

lives

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plays a pivotal role in ensuring that companies produce quickly and prevent health problems.

Submitted by nbogey777 on Wed Oct 02 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear stance, which contributes to a cohesive response. You have successfully explained the relationship between technological advancement and the loss of traditional culture. To further improve, consider providing more specific details to strengthen your main points.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, some sentences could be more concise to enhance readability. Additionally, transitioning between ideas could be smoother. Try using varied transition phrases to connect your points better.

task achievement

Support your main arguments with more specific and detailed examples. This will help illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and logical essay structure, with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes your argument easy to follow.

task achievement

The essay includes relevant examples that are appropriately linked to the main points. This adds depth to your arguments.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inevitable
advancement
globalization
dilutes
traditional cultures
social media
blending of cultures
preservation
platforms
adaptability
technological adaptations
uphold
consequence
integrate
cultural frameworks

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It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. Do you agree or disagree?

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?