It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there is a phenomenon that more

technology

Use synonyms

develops significantly,

the

Correct word choice

and the

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old

culture

Use synonyms

is more likely to be removed. For that reason, it is difficult to progress with both. I strongly agree that it is not easy for people to keep their old

culture

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safe when/as

technology

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advances day by day. Because compared to the outdated

culture

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, high/advanced

technology

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gives us the opportunity to save

time

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and live longer in modern times. A primary factor contributing to not being able/the inability to progress both

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apply

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technology

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and traditional

culture

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at the same

time

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is that

technology

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produces many more goods than traditional methods produce. The rationale behind

this

Linking Words

is that modern

technology

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is much faster in industrialisation, which can lead to an increase in the number of consumers.

For example

Linking Words

, I was involved in a big railway construction project that required only two teams with no more than eighty employees for 18 months. A hundred years ago, a project just like

this

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one required over a thousand workers to work for over ten years using a traditional method.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is evident that using advanced

technologies

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plays a crucial role in saving

time

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. Equally important is the role of applying new

technologies

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to help people live longer than they used to in the past

due to

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applying traditional lifestyles to their

lives

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Such

Linking Words

a factor ensures that scientists discovered a new way to extend the life expectancy of humans using microscope surgery. A clear example of

this

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can be seen in a recent case where New York University hospital’s doctors, using a microscope instrument, successfully executed brain surgery and extended the patient’s lifespan by fifteen years.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is obvious that implementing medical

technologies

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in our

lives

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reinforces long

lives

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. In conclusion,

it is clear that

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advanced

technology

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can save us more

time

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and lengthen our

lives

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. As highlighted, using new

technologies

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in our

lives

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plays a pivotal role in ensuring that companies produce quickly and prevent health problems.

nbogey777Wed Oct 02 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear stance, which contributes to a cohesive response. You have successfully explained the relationship between technological advancement and the loss of traditional culture. To further improve, consider providing more specific details to strengthen your main points.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, some sentences could be more concise to enhance readability. Additionally, transitioning between ideas could be smoother. Try using varied transition phrases to connect your points better.

task achievement

Support your main arguments with more specific and detailed examples. This will help illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and logical essay structure, with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes your argument easy to follow.

task achievement

The essay includes relevant examples that are appropriately linked to the main points. This adds depth to your arguments.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inevitable
advancement
globalization
dilutes
traditional cultures
social media
blending of cultures
preservation
platforms
adaptability
technological adaptations
uphold
consequence
integrate
cultural frameworks

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International tourism has bought enormous benifits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantage of international tourism outweigh the advantage.

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

The qualities that help people reach success in modern life can not be learned in university or other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?