IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #children #vegetables #animals
It can be argued that teachers should teach
children
 in primary schools about growing vegetables and taking care of animals. In my point of view, I believe that
this
 has numerous benefits for
children
 and can
also
 help the
environment
.
This
 essay will investigate how the advantages of
this
 suggestion outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin
, teaching people from a young age will result in having a more educated society that cares about the
environment
 and animals.
For example
, if
children
 started learning about endangered animals, they will try to help them as much as they could.
Moreover
, learning how to grow vegetables is going to help the
environment
 because young adults will plant more trees which will reduce air pollution. A good example of
this
 is provided by Kuwait where schools have been organising campaigns for
children
 to teach them planting skills in order to help the
environment
.
On the other hand
, young people are going to develop many skills that can benefit them in the future,
Also
 these skills can improve their personalities.
In other words
, they will be more compassionate toward people as taking care of an animal acquire a lot of kindness and compassion.
Furthermore
, one of the key advantages of
this
 suggestion is that kids will be responsible and patient because growing plants can take a lot of time, effort and care which can not be done without patience. In the conclusion,
to sum up
, I would like to reiterate my opinion that the advantages of
this
 suggestion seem to predominate over the disadvantages which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 why we should put it into practice.
Submitted by Retaaji72 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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