IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that people should be given the right to use freshwater as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of freshwater. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #right #governments #control
It is sometimes argued that individuals should be acceptable to utilise cleaned
water
 in freedom,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 believe that verified
water
 should be observed by authorities. In
this
 paper, I would discuss both points of view
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
 and present examples to show why the second assertion is correct. Those who advocate for using freshwater at ease argue that they
use
water
 for necessary daily activities
such
 as drinking, bathing, and washing, so they should
use
 it without any
restricts
Replace the word
restrictions
show examples
. Individuals
use
water
 for different purposes, but it is crucial for their lives.
For example
, washing food needs a small amount of
water
, but it is important to reduce
dirts
Change the wording
dirt
specks of dirt
show examples
 and chemicals in food.
Moreover
,
people
 have to pay for freshwater, so they can
use
 it as their demands and they can pay for it after every month.
On the other hand
, proponents of observation of consuming freshwater believe that verified
water
 should be
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 because of social stratification in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The rich
use
water
 as more as they want because it is affordable,
while
 the poor lack of cleaned
water
due to
 insolvency. Another reason would be to reduce the waste of
water
. Many households consume
water
 in
lavish
Change the article
a lavish
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 because
water
 payment is cheaper than any goods.
For instance
, many
affluented
Correct your spelling
affluent
people
 pump
water
 into their private pools to swim, which cost a high amount of
water
, and
then
 waste it
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 sewers.
Otherwise
, with the development of technology, producing freshwater is without difficulty so many
people
 believe that
water
 is an unexhausted natural resource. In conclusion,
while
 many
people
 believe that they have the right to
use
freshwater
Correct your spelling
fresh water
show examples
 as they wish, others think that governments should control the
use
 of
water
. In my view, I totally agree that local authorities should administer the
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of
water
 to reduce the waste of
water
 and remove the distinction between the rich and the poor.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: