IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that people should be given the right to use freshwater as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of freshwater. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #right #governments #control
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It is sometimes argued that individuals should be acceptable to utilise cleaned
water
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 in freedom,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 believe that verified
water
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 should be observed by authorities. In
this
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 paper, I would discuss both points of view
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
 and present examples to show why the second assertion is correct. Those who advocate for using freshwater at ease argue that they
use
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water
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 for necessary daily activities
such
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 as drinking, bathing, and washing, so they should
use
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 it without any
restricts
Replace the word
restrictions
show examples
. Individuals
use
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water
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 for different purposes, but it is crucial for their lives.
For example
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, washing food needs a small amount of
water
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, but it is important to reduce
dirts
Change the wording
dirt
specks of dirt
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 and chemicals in food.
Moreover
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,
people
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 have to pay for freshwater, so they can
use
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 it as their demands and they can pay for it after every month.
On the other hand
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, proponents of observation of consuming freshwater believe that verified
water
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 should be
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 because of social stratification in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The rich
use
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water
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 as more as they want because it is affordable,
while
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 the poor lack of cleaned
water
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due to
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 insolvency. Another reason would be to reduce the waste of
water
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. Many households consume
water
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 in
lavish
Change the article
a lavish
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 because
water
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 payment is cheaper than any goods.
For instance
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, many
affluented
Correct your spelling
affluent
people
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 pump
water
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 into their private pools to swim, which cost a high amount of
water
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, and
then
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 waste it
into
Change preposition
in
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 sewers.
Otherwise
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, with the development of technology, producing freshwater is without difficulty so many
people
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 believe that
water
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 is an unexhausted natural resource. In conclusion,
while
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 many
people
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 believe that they have the right to
use
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freshwater
Correct your spelling
fresh water
show examples
 as they wish, others think that governments should control the
use
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 of
water
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. In my view, I totally agree that local authorities should administer the
consume
Replace the word
consumption
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 of
water
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 to reduce the waste of
water
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 and remove the distinction between the rich and the poor.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

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