Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #individuals #want

Advertisement has become a business now. All the companies use different platforms and tactics to advertise and attract the general public. In

this

regard, social media has played an important role.

However

, I completely agree with the statement that people follow trends and want to look the same. In

this

essay, I will try to discuss different reasons why is it so. First of all, social media

such

as Facebook, Instagram,

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

etc have become the platform for marketing products which is easy to access for the wide majority now.

Furthermore

, on Instagram, these companies are now collaborating with individuals called "Influencers" to advertise their products.

For example

, when a company launches their new product they send free samples to these influencers that in return make a video for them and post it on different platforms to attract the public. So, when people watch their videos and

saw

Wrong verb form

see

show examples

different popular personalities using them, they

also

want to look the same and follow the trend.

On the other hand

this

trend results in several negative impacts on society.

Firstly

, by

following

this

trend people are now losing their identity.

Secondly

, everyone wants to look like a celebrity and a perfect body shape, colour, and skin has become popular ultimately resulting in depression, stress, and anxiety issues in young adults.

Thirdly

, it's a waste of money. It's a common concept among the public that if they wear more branded clothes, they will look rich and upper-class.

To conclude

, I agree that advertising discourages the public from being different individuals and in my opinion, the internet and social media are the main reason behind it. It is affecting individuals in several negative ways.

Submitted by tayyabkhalid99 on Fri Mar 17 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic and provides a brief overview of the points you will discuss in the essay. The conclusion should summarize the key points and restate your opinion.

task response

While you have addressed the main points of the essay prompt, make sure to fully develop your ideas and provide more specific examples to support your points.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children’s leisure activities should always be educational. Others think that it puts too much pressure on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative develop

Today, many people do not know their neighbour in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Many people think that money is important for achieving happiness. What importance does money have regarding happiness? Give your answer with relevant examples.

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?