Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People hold divergent perspectives on coping with adversity in life.
While
some advocate for embracing tough situations, I advocate for actively navigating through difficult times. On one side of the debate, proponents argue that enduring challenging circumstances rather than instigating change can be the optimal approach in certain scenarios. They illustrate
this
by citing examples
such
as mothers with young children who opt to persevere in their careers despite dissatisfaction. The rationale behind
this
stance is that the demands of motherhood often leave little room for career adjustments, making women vulnerable in the job market.
Additionally
, they contend that financial hardships can be alleviated through frugal measures like reducing expenses or opting for cost-effective alternatives.
Conversely
, I firmly believe that striving to ameliorate
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
situations yields greater benefits for individuals and society as a whole. On a personal level, accepting subpar working conditions or financial crises can lead to undue stress and strain on one’s well-being, ultimately impeding
overall
quality of life.
Furthermore
, societal progress hinges on the collective well-being and productivity of its citizens. A populace burdened by stress and health issues is ill-equipped to contribute meaningfully to the advancement of their nation. In light of the aforementioned arguments, I contend that proactive efforts to improve adverse circumstances are more prudent than passive acceptance.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
To elevate your essay, consider including more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Personal anecdotes or real-world instances can enhance the persuasiveness of your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion is concise and correctly reiterates your stance, but it could be strengthened by summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. This will provide a more comprehensive closing.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay would benefit from slightly broadened vocabulary and more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear and organized structure, making it easy to follow your arguments. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, which helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
complete response
You have effectively presented both perspectives on the issue and have clearly articulated your own opinion, demonstrating a balanced approach to the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: