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Band 5

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the cause? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #traveler
In my opinion, more people will explore different places in the future,
due to
 the access to travel is
even
Add the comma(s)
, even more,
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
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easier for everyone,
such
 as, you can travel by car,
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
, bus, bike, it is up to you. We need
understand
Fix the infinitive
to understand
show examples
 that the
world
 is not just our city, our community or simply our country.
Firstly
, I believe that one huge cause for people
travel
Change the verb form
travels
show examples
 more is because of what they watch
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media, like
You tube
Correct your spelling
Youtube
show examples
. You can find normal guys, like us, travelling the
world
 without
speak
Wrong verb form
speaking
show examples
 more than one language,
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 alone or in couples and you will find
family
Add an article
a family
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 with kids on the road
also
.
This
Change the determiner
These
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 adventures do not have excuses for just
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 your
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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 inside
yours
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 home.
Moreover
, when you arrived in a different country, you have sure that you
do not know nothing
Rewrite the sentence
do not know anything
know nothing
show examples
from
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the
world
.
Make
Wrong verb form
Making
show examples
 trips will help you to understand
another cultures
Replace the adjective
another culture
other cultures
show examples
, learn about history, taste different kinds of food,
meet
Correct word choice
and meet
show examples
 new friends.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, when you connect with different
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other region, I believe that
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 knowledge will grow up a lot, and no one
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the power
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 take
this
 for you.
To conclude
, my first international trip was the peace of the cake for me, because was so unreal
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
 in another country. I went to Barcelona, Spain and I was so happy, like a dream come true,
also
,
last
 year, I have been
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Cancun, Mexico, the best way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 relax in your summer vacation. I can not wait for my next experience around the
world
.
Submitted by mynameisge on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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