Some people think that young criminals should receive the same punishment as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Some individuals believe that juvenile offenders should face the same penalty as grown-ups. In my opinion, I would completely disagree with

this

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statement because their still changing personalities are to blame for committing a crime,

therefore

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instead

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of punishing them like adults we should consider providing them opportunities for a better future.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

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, it seems unfair to compare adolescents who are not completely aware of their actions with adults who are aware of what they are doing. Their immature judgement and loss of self-control can lead to criminal acts because they sense fewer risks.

Moreover

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, young people are influenced by others easily.

For instance

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, when I was ten years old I used to break the windows of the kindergarten with stones and escape with my friends. I do not know why I used to do

this

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maybe one of my friends suggested and we thought it was funny without realizing our bad actions.

Body paragraph 2

Another reason to support my view is that imposing severe penalties for minors might lead to recidivism so we need to find

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

rehabilitative approach. I believe giving them second chance not only

reduce

Correct subject-verb agreement

reduces

show examples

future crimes but

also

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support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

them back into the community.

For example

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, I read

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

on the internet that a judge sentenced some juvenile offenders to a program named "chess for life". They have to play chess as their punishment and it can make them more self-confident.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

however

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many people consider that young and adult offenders should be given the same punishment, I strongly disagree with

this

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and I believe we should give them a second opportunity.

michiadore

Mar 18, 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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