It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the advantages?

#people #risks #lives

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Taking

risks

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is very pivotal in inhabitants'

lives

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when they would like to improve their quality of

life

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not only their private

lives

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but

also

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their career

lives

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. In my opinion, making a decision to take

risks

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, so can bring the most benefits for citizens. In

this

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life

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, people face a lot of problems in their

life

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which are matters that must be overcome

instead

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of avoid them.

However

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, when the residents take

risks

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then

Linking Words

they will obtain some obstacles and these obstacles will carry negative effects from them. Adaptation in a new environment,

for instance

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, is

one

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of the minus issues for them. They have to need time to adapt to the new condition and sometimes can spend energy and money to do.

For example

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, Eric Tohir,

one

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of the great businessmen in Indonesia, has to spend much time and money when he expand his business to a sport sector when he made a contract with

one

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famous football club in the world namely Inter Milan, and he became the owner of the club.

Moreover

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, another drawback is having to learn about a new sector. Based on the example mentioned above, Eric Tohir has to study everything in terms of sports

in particular

Linking Words

football since the business area is new for him.

On the other hand

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, there are positive impacts when people take

risks

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. If the citizens would like to be successful in their businesses and their personal

lives

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, they must take

risks

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For example

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, Raffi Ahmad,

one

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of the well-known public figures in Indonesia, has

risks

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when he developed his business in the movie industry when he build a production house.

This

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step is a risk for him because he has to adapt and learn anything related to

this

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sector.

As a result

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of taking

risks

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, Raffi Ahmad has become

one

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of the rich people and the best producer in the film industry in Indonesia. In conclusion, putting

risks

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is crucial for human

lives

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for it can bring huge benefits by improving their quality of

life

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even though there are a few detrimental impacts. I ti

Submitted by salwafahanim on Sun Mar 19 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

348 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the advantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. agree or disagree

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernise, old buildings are demolished and replaced with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old buildings? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people try to create a balance between their professional life and their personal life. However, very few are able to achieve such a balance. What problems stop people from achieving a work-life balance? How can these problems be overcome?