In conclusion, people choose particular goods because they want to be accepted in the society and also because of the values of the products.

Some
people
believe that the adoration of a few fields
such
as fashion and consumer goods is an illustration of the likelihood of
people
love to copy the other.
Nonetheless
, I contend that the phenomenon was not solely triggered by duplication intentions, it was
also
induced by several reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraph.
To begin
with, as a social member of a group,
people
try to fit in the society. They follow things that other members like in order to get approval. An illustration of
this
is when a girl did not like to use social media before, but she eventually made it because her friends insisted.
This
shows that she did not imitate the major group blindly. In
this
case, following the mainstream is a social indictment.
Furthermore
, personal taste is involved in trend-making. If something becomes a favourite by most
people
, it does not mean everyone likes it.
Therefore
, in some fields,
people
are broken into a few big groups. Music is a prime example, some like jazz
while
some love pop.
Hence
, it shows that personal preference plays a big part in decision-making.
In addition
, a brand becomes popular not only because a trendsetter wore it, but
also
because it had good quality. High-quality brands,
such
as Gucci or Nike, have proven to exist for a long time
as a consequence
of providing the best products In conclusion,
people
choose particular goods because they want to be accepted in society, appreciate the values of the products, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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matches
Correct subject-verb agreement
match
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with
Change preposition
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their preferences.
Submitted by erniwbs on

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Introduction
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Cohesion
Establish clear connections between paragraphs using cohesive devices, and ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the central topic. The logical structure is somewhat consistent, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow of your essay.
Support
Develop the central idea of each paragraph further by providing more specific examples and explanations to support your main points. Your paragraphs include relevant examples, but they could be strengthened with more detailed and varied support.
Task Response
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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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