Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Learning is one of the most important rights of a citizen in any
country
. Although
some people think that primary education
is adequate for a person as there is a lack of job opportunities even for an educated person, others are of the opinion that there should not be any restrictions on learning because it will create a scarcity of experts in relevant fields. In my opinion, even though there is unemployment in a country
, every person must be given chances to learn as far as he can.
Certain parts of the world face formidable challenges in creating employment prospects for their citizens. Few people believe that basic schooling would be sufficient to find a living for themselves because of the reduced number of jobs available in the country
. Moreover
, even if students pursue higher education
in reputed universities, they fail to get employed in the field of their study. For instance
, despite having numerous engineering colleges in India, 60% of the passed-out students are employed in other sectors such
as agriculture, entertainment and media which do not require a professional degree. Thus
, it is undeniable that university degrees or secondary education
are not always effective in the pursuit of a job.
On the contrary
, if a nation's population has only primary education
, the field of education
, medicine, etc would go weak which in turn would affect the stability of a country
. Additionally
, only secondary education
and higher degrees can create maestros in a sector and that is
inevitable for the development of a nation. For example
, 70% of New Zealand's population is highly qualified and the government is successful in employing these professionals in their respective areas which makes New Zealand one of the best economies in the world. Therefore
, whether or not there are job opportunities, secondary education
must be invigorated so that everyone will have a bright future.
To conclude
, a world with highly educated individuals is an imperative dream everyone should have. While
some people argue that primary education
is enough for a student to live this
life, the majority agrees that it is indispensable to learn secondary schooling as it paves the way to create specialists in various sections. I completely agree with the latter opinion that secondary education
is vital and should not be restricted.Submitted by gloriasherin on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay is largely organized and logical, consider adding more signposting language to guide the reader through the arguments, such as using phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' and 'In summary.' This will further enhance the coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
To make the arguments even more compelling, provide more diverse examples from different contexts (e.g., different countries or industries). This will strengthen the relevance and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the issue and maintains it throughout, which is crucial for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-crafted, providing a solid framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and advanced vocabulary effectively, enhancing the overall quality of writing.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.