Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Learning is one of the most important rights of a citizen in any
country
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.
Although
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some people think that primary
education
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is adequate for a person as there is a lack of job opportunities even for an educated person, others are of the opinion that there should not be any restrictions on learning because it will create a scarcity of experts in relevant fields. In my opinion, even though there is unemployment in a
country
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, every person must be given chances to learn as far as he can. Certain parts of the world face formidable challenges in creating employment prospects for their citizens. Few people believe that basic schooling would be sufficient to find a living for themselves because of the reduced number of jobs available in the
country
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.
Moreover
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, even if students pursue higher
education
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in reputed universities, they fail to get employed in the field of their study.
For instance
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, despite having numerous engineering colleges in India, 60% of the passed-out students are employed in other sectors
such
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as agriculture, entertainment and media which do not require a professional degree.
Thus
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, it is undeniable that university degrees or secondary
education
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are not always effective in the pursuit of a job.
On the contrary
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, if a nation's population has only primary
education
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, the field of
education
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, medicine, etc would go weak which in turn would affect the stability of a
country
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.
Additionally
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, only secondary
education
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and higher degrees can create maestros in a sector and
that is
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inevitable for the development of a nation.
For example
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, 70% of New Zealand's population is highly qualified and the government is successful in employing these professionals in their respective areas which makes New Zealand one of the best economies in the world.
Therefore
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, whether or not there are job opportunities, secondary
education
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must be invigorated so that everyone will have a bright future.
To conclude
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, a world with highly educated individuals is an imperative dream everyone should have.
While
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some people argue that primary
education
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is enough for a student to live
this
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life, the majority agrees that it is indispensable to learn secondary schooling as it paves the way to create specialists in various sections. I completely agree with the latter opinion that secondary
education
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is vital and should not be restricted.
Submitted by gloriasherin on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay is largely organized and logical, consider adding more signposting language to guide the reader through the arguments, such as using phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' and 'In summary.' This will further enhance the coherence and cohesion.
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To make the arguments even more compelling, provide more diverse examples from different contexts (e.g., different countries or industries). This will strengthen the relevance and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the issue and maintains it throughout, which is crucial for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-crafted, providing a solid framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and advanced vocabulary effectively, enhancing the overall quality of writing.

Word Count

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