Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Nowadays, a number of

children

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spend their free

time

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day

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on their

smartphones

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. In my opinion,

this

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activity is a wrong habit, and

this

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will generate a drawback improvement for the

children

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. Spending much

time

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daily on playing

smartphones

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is a negative event. The event occurred because

parents

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gave their

children

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a smartphone

instead

Linking Words

of a book, and is less control from the

parents

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Parents

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tended to do the former activity as they considered that it was a part of love even though that was the wrong mindset.

As a result

Linking Words

children

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could use

this

Linking Words

wrong attention with playing on their

smartphones

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within a

day

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. The latter act was done id by

parents

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due to

Linking Words

they had hectic schedules in their work in order to they did not have

time

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with their

children

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to evaluate them about their activities.

Consequently

Linking Words

children

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tend to play more without thinking about the

time

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even if they do not consider their diet

time

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Furthermore

Linking Words

children

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will obtain disadvantages for what they did

such

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as obesity and less achievement in school. When

children

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played their digital phones

day

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and night, they tend to sit in front of their electronic phones which can boost obesity for them.

As a result

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, they will experience physical illness which will disturb their lives

such

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as their education.

In addition

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, less activity and no studying,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

affects

children

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's achievement in school. When

children

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did not study, they will be lost their knowledge, and

also

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they tend not to do their homework.

Consequently

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, their progress in school experience decreases. In conclusion, spending a lot of

time

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day

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smartphones

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will generate drawbacks for

children

Use synonyms

Submitted by salwafahanim on Sun Mar 19 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that governments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that better roads should be built. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities than those who prefer television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Discuss the disadvantages of eating fast food on health. Why do people eat fast food? What can be done to discourage it?

Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.