IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

It is an irrefutable fact that in the contemporary world,
communication
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 plays a vital role in the success of any
business
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. Some people argue that strong
communication
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 between managers and employees enhances the chances of
business
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 success,
while
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 others reject
this
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 notion because they believe that technology and strong working
skills
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 are equally important to
run
Wrong verb form
running
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 any
business
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. I do agree with the former statement.
This
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 essay will analyze both sides
along with
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 the examples. On the one hand , exponent of the view have their own justification. The argument behind their rationale is strong teamwork at the workplace increases the quality of work
along with
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 the efficiency of the
workforce
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.
In other words
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, when the employer clearly discusses the plan and goals with the team, it eliminates the chances of delay because everyone is fully aware of the desired target.
Moreover
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, discussion between both parties gives chance to the employees to clear their doubts which sometimes become the reason for mistakes.
For example
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, currently I am working at Amazon,
although
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 it is not easy to organize daily meetings
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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still
Add a comma
still,
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according to
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 Amazon policies we organize meetings every day which allows our team to clear their doubts
as well as
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 share their opinions and
that is
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 the reason Amazon is very successful with low employee turnover.
On the other hand
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, contenders like
I
Correct pronoun usage
me
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 have their own side of the coin.
Firstly
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,
according to
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 these experts growth of any organization is not only relayed on
communication
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, other factors like technological advancement and
workforce
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 abilities are
also
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 crucial. To explain, in
this
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 competitive world businesses need to be up to date with technological features which can save costs
as well as
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 the energy of the
workforce
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 like the availability of calculation software to make financial statements.
Besides
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 that, the skill set of workers can build or spoil the
business
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 because workers are the main asset of any firm so if they have good
skills
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 like positive attitude, computer
skills
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 and teamwork
skills
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then
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 they can make their
business
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 more strong.
For instance
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, Google is more successful than Facebook just because of its strong
workforce
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 which they hired based on their
skills
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 and
also
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 trained them
according to
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 demand.
To conclude
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,
although
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communication
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 mitigates the possibility of mistakes, it is vital to have a skilled
workforce
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 and upgraded software to face the competition in
this
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 global market.

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coherence
Ensure that your arguments in the body paragraphs are tied back to your thesis statement clearly. This makes the essay more cohesive and the argument you are presenting more convincing.
task achievement
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as they can affect the readability and professionalism of your essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your opinion, which is important for a strong start.
supported main points
You provided relevant examples, such as the case of Amazon and Google, to support your points, which enhances credibility.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication channels
  • collaboration
  • productivity
  • workplace harmony
  • issue resolution
  • escalate
  • organizational culture
  • motivation levels
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • feedback mechanisms
  • performance evaluations
  • fairness
  • transparency
  • criteria
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