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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you might have to support your answer.

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Education plays a vital role in everyone’s life
particularly
Add the comma(s)
,particularly
show examples
children
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.
However
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, the question of whether learning at
home
Use synonyms
 or at
school
Use synonyms
 is better has sparked a heated debate.
Whereas
Linking Words
 indoor education offers better protection with individual learning and opportunities for families to bond, schools have
Add an article
a student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 with a wide
range
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 of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds, a superior
range
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 of materials, teachers,
conducive
Correct article usage
a conducive
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 learning environment and so on.
Although
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,
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apply
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 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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views have their own merits, I am of the honest opinion that
school
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 is the best place for a
child
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 when it is
about
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to
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overall
Linking Words
 development. First and foremost, learning at
home
Use synonyms
 offers a great deal of
freedom
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, particularly educational
freedom
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.
While
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 the basics are certainly covered, students have
flexibility
Add an article
the flexibility
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of
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in
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they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
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 especially learn and when. Students can emphasize
on
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apply
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the subject matter that gets them excited, whether
that is
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 math, physics, history or creative writing.
Next,
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a great deal of physical
freed
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freedom
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 is ensured for the
children
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 who learn at
home
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.
That is
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 to say that, families have much more
freedom
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 to vacation at odd times because of not having any strict schedule of
school
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 hours and
kids
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 can spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
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quality time with their parents which is a great opportunity to learn many values from them.
Additionally
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,
kids
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 have emotional
freedom
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. Students very often undergo
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
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 with bullies, fellow
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 pressure, monotony, and competition. In the
home
Use synonyms
 environment, these factors are absent.
Children
Use synonyms
 are able to think, dress and act the way they want.
Last
Linking Words
 but not the least, since
kids
Use synonyms
 who lean at
home
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 can spend much more time; they can form significantly
closure
Replace the word
close
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 family relationships.
However
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,
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 has so many vantage points for ensuring
development
Add an article
the development
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 of a
child
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.
Firstly
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, attending
school
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 gives the
child
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to
Correct article usage
the to
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 meet new
children
Use synonyms
 with a wide
range
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 of
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
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 and from a variety of social backgrounds. Some get close only to become good friends for many years or even
lifetime
Correct article usage
a lifetime
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,
while
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 some remain only classmates.
Conversely
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, if the
children
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 learn at
home
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, they will likely not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to many
such
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kids
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. Meeting new
children
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 and socializing
also
Linking Words
 stretches their horizon of knowledge.
Consequently
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, if we want to make our
children
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 sociable, it is best to attend
school
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;
Use synonyms
home
Change preposition
at home
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 they might end up leading only a solitary life. To add with, schools
also
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 teach how to cope with bullies, gossip, peer pressure and competition. Again,
school
Use synonyms
 is no more
the
Correct article usage
a
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 place which only deals with academic purposes.
Use synonyms
School
Add an article
The school
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 has become the first stepping ground
of
Change preposition
for
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 a
child
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, wherein he can learn
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 more rather than merely rote learning. Learning basic etiquette, developing hobbies, refining them,
getting
Correct word choice
and getting
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 skilled at multitasking are some of the many things that a
school
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 provides a
child
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 with.
Similarly
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,
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school
Add an article
the school
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 has teachers who are trained
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
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 subject so that
children
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 can get better lesson results
in
Change preposition
with
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 clear concept about the particular subject. What is more,
school
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 supplies
children
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 with physical resources
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for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example, library books,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 equipment, exercise equipment, and musical instruments. From what has been discussed above it can be easily said that
children
Use synonyms
 are better off in a
school
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 ambience. Yet, spending time with family and individual learning are crucial, the wide
range
Use synonyms
 of expertise and resources that
school
Use synonyms
 belongs to cannot be found in the
home
Use synonyms
. At
school
Use synonyms
, sometimes
children
Use synonyms
 may experience some troubling social
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
, but so too does the real world,
children
Use synonyms
 must learn to master these on their own.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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