IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you might have to support your answer.

#people #children #home #child’s #development #school #methods #support
Education plays a vital role in everyone’s life
particularly
Add the comma(s)
,particularly
show examples
children
.
However
, the question of whether learning at
home
 or at
school
 is better has sparked a heated debate.
Whereas
 indoor education offers better protection with individual learning and opportunities for families to bond, schools have
Add an article
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 with a wide
range
 of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds, a superior
range
 of materials, teachers,
conducive
Correct article usage
a conducive
show examples
 learning environment and so on.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views have their own merits, I am of the honest opinion that
school
 is the best place for a
child
 when it is
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
overall
 development. First and foremost, learning at
home
 offers a great deal of
freedom
, particularly educational
freedom
.
While
 the basics are certainly covered, students have
flexibility
Add an article
the flexibility
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
show examples
 especially learn and when. Students can emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the subject matter that gets them excited, whether
that is
 math, physics, history or creative writing.
Next,
a great deal of physical
freed
Replace the word
freedom
show examples
 is ensured for the
children
 who learn at
home
.
That is
 to say that, families have much more
freedom
 to vacation at odd times because of not having any strict schedule of
school
 hours and
kids
 can spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality time with their parents which is a great opportunity to learn many values from them.
Additionally
,
kids
 have emotional
freedom
. Students very often undergo
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
 with bullies, fellow
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 pressure, monotony, and competition. In the
home
 environment, these factors are absent.
Children
 are able to think, dress and act the way they want.
Last
 but not the least, since
kids
 who lean at
home
 can spend much more time; they can form significantly
closure
Replace the word
close
show examples
 family relationships.
However
,
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 has so many vantage points for ensuring
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of a
child
.
Firstly
, attending
school
 gives the
child
to
Correct article usage
the to
show examples
 meet new
children
 with a wide
range
 of
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
 and from a variety of social backgrounds. Some get close only to become good friends for many years or even
lifetime
Correct article usage
a lifetime
show examples
,
while
 some remain only classmates.
Conversely
, if the
children
 learn at
home
, they will likely not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to many
such
kids
. Meeting new
children
 and socializing
also
 stretches their horizon of knowledge.
Consequently
, if we want to make our
children
 sociable, it is best to attend
school
;
home
Change preposition
at home
show examples
 they might end up leading only a solitary life. To add with, schools
also
 teach how to cope with bullies, gossip, peer pressure and competition. Again,
school
 is no more
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place which only deals with academic purposes.
School
Add an article
The school
show examples
 has become the first stepping ground
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a
child
, wherein he can learn
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 more rather than merely rote learning. Learning basic etiquette, developing hobbies, refining them,
getting
Correct word choice
and getting
show examples
 skilled at multitasking are some of the many things that a
school
 provides a
child
 with.
Similarly
,
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 has teachers who are trained
in
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 subject so that
children
 can get better lesson results
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 clear concept about the particular subject. What is more,
school
 supplies
children
 with physical resources
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, library books,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 equipment, exercise equipment, and musical instruments. From what has been discussed above it can be easily said that
children
 are better off in a
school
 ambience. Yet, spending time with family and individual learning are crucial, the wide
range
 of expertise and resources that
school
 belongs to cannot be found in the
home
. At
school
, sometimes
children
 may experience some troubling social
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
, but so too does the real world,
children
 must learn to master these on their own.
Submitted by hishamlatrobe3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: