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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people claim that government is responsible for obesity in children do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #obesity #children
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According to
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 the statement given as the government must take the sole responsibility for children being outweighed. I will not agree because it has nothing to do with
this
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 sector but the responsibility must go to the owners or parents who look after them. Nowadays the public directs their fingers towards the governing body for any mistake which is happening. 'We' as the general public must not do that because it is not the way to develop a country, pointing out fingers without thinking twice about 'what the problem is'.
Firstly
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 before solving any issue we must look up a solution and answer the question 'does
this
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 solution resolve our problem?', 'If it does' no need of pointing fingers at anyone but if it is out of our control
then
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 yes government needs to stand up for it. 'Obesity' is not something uncontrollable. It can be cured if we fill the right boxes. The guardians of these younger ones are the people who must take responsibility and not the government. They must feed the children the right kind of food and drink plenty of water without making them have too much sugary, starchy or oily food which can worsen with either 'Diabetes' or 'Cholesterol' which is not a good sign. In conclusion, my suggestion would be that it is controllable and people must be aware of their mouths as to what they speak and eat, either one of them can get them or the whole community in trouble. Eating and drinking healthy can lead to a better life rather than being outweighed for the younger ones nowadays.
Submitted by sachinka202 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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