IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many museums charge for admissions while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum overweight the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admissions #people #admission #museum
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There are
museums
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 that require entrance fees
while
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 others are free of charge. Despite
such
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 charges could violate the right of
people
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, who have financial concerns
,
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apply
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 and appreciate arts and exhibitions, I believe the benefits of charging
people
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 for admission are more than the negative effects. 
To begin
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 with, arts and historical
items
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 could not only provoke different aspects of view regarding the world but reveal the life of ancestors and local culture, which make
museums
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 take essential roles to educate the younger generation.
That is
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 one of the main reasons why proponents are against the cost to enter correlative institutions. 
For example
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, many science
museums
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 in Taiwan open to youth freely to encourage their parents to bring their children to gain different experiences and learn new knowledge in a fun way.
On the other hand
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, with additional income sources,
museums
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 could provide better preservation for those vulnerable
items
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, including repairing displayed
items
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 and regular maintenance. On top of that, they are able to throw more activities to introduce valuable
items
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 to more
people
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.
For example
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, many
museums
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 will cooperate with artists or other associated institutions to hold temporary exhibitions, since the costs could be expensive, they need to charge participants to cover the spending. Many historical constructions
also
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 require professionals to keep them in a good condition, without the fee charged from visitors,
museums
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 will not be able to support
such
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 a tidy sum.
To conclude
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, it is inevitable that charging
people
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 for admission to
museums
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 might stop young
people
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 from the acquisition of essential experiences,
however
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, those revenue allows them to provide better protection for valuable
items
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 and a tidy environment.
Therefore
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, I agree that the additional fee caused to getting into
museums
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 has more positive effects than negative ones.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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