The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the
last
century, society has been extremely dependent on the
use
of fossil fuel-based
energy
,
whereas
it is lately known as the top cause of environmental issues.
Thus
, most people think that the development of
alternative
energy
sources should be prioritized. I completely agree with
this
statement and the reasons will be explained in
this
essay.
To begin
with, the excessive
use
of fossil fuels has been damaging the environment. It is because
this
energy
source is emitting carbon dioxide which leads to greenhouse gases. Even worse, it is not only negatively affecting the air quality, but
also
the climate. As an illustration, the average temperature in Indonesia has been above 32 degrees Celsius in the afternoon and the rise of sea level is at an alarming rate.
Furthermore
, without
alternative
energy
, some coastal areas will be covered by seawater only in some years ahead. Not only damaging the environment, fossil fuels existence is nearly into its extinction.
This
is because the generation of
this
kind of fuel comes from animals' fossils.
Consequently
, it took years to produce the
energy
while
the rise of population and human dependence on
energy
forced humans to
use
it excessively.
Hence
, it is essential for the government and global cooperation to limit the
use
of fossil fuel-based
energy
and explore safer
alternative
sources of
energy
which are not harming the earth and are sustainable. In summary, I agree that investing in the research of safer
alternative
energy
sources is critical for some reasons. It is because fossil fuels are affecting some negative impacts on the environment
such
as poor air quality and climate change
while
the need for
energy
is inevitable for human life.
Submitted by serlyayus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Introduce a wider range of linking devices to improve cohesion between ideas.
task achievement
To further strengthen your task achievement, consider adding more diversified examples and comparisons to demonstrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to enhance the readability and complexity of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a strong stance on the given topic, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully included an introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points effectively.
task achievement
Your examples, specifically regarding environmental issues and fossil fuels' unsustainability, effectively support your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • fossil fuels
  • safe alternatives
  • global priority
  • limitations
  • drawbacks
  • potential benefits
  • government
  • international cooperation
  • investing
  • research and development
  • challenges
  • obstacles
  • transitioning
  • individuals
  • businesses
  • adopting
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!