IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The gap between the rich and the is increasing. What problem does this cause? What solution can you suggest?

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Follow the economics of society development. The
gap
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 between the wealthy and the poor has become a serious matter. Some people believe that
this
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 issue can’t ease.
However
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, I think it can get remission across some methods.
Therefore
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, the factor of economics is the main reason.
This
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 essay will explain the reason
due to
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 the
gap
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 in
wealth
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, and give some approaches to solving
this
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 problem. The purpose of the paragraph is to give reasons to illuminate the
gap
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 in
wealth
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.
First,
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the rich have a better economic base, and the development of societal trends is beneficial to the rich. So some people put in a bank business etc. to make a profit.
However
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, lots of the poor have no enough money to invest.
Second,
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the rich always set up their own business and buy stocks and shares to get a high rate of return, but the poor only keep working and get an essential wage.
Third,
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educating to next generation is paramount. In benign circumstances,
children
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 who live in rich families always get high-quality education easily. And these
children
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 were affected in their family caused they have a wide field of vision and excellent logic.
In addition
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, the poor’s
children
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 get high quality is more difficult. And they don’t have a good change and platform. In the world, different platforms and visions lead to gaps in
wealth
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 increasing. There are two methods to solve
this
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 matter.
First,
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in my view, the rich shouldn’t monopoly the market. Government should encourage all people to invest and realize the equity of change.
Second,
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encouraging equity study is a good idea. Poor
children
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also
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 have a high-quality education. And give more chances to develop poor
children
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. In my opinion, in these ways, the
gap
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 in
wealth
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 is eased. In the end, the level of economics and education are the main reasons for the
gap
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 between the rich and poor increasing.
Further
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, we should encourage the change of equity, and give more help to the poor. I believe it can reduce the
gap
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 between the wealthy and the poor.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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