IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year'; before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 more popular
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 people who have just graduated
a
Change preposition
from
show examples
 high school to take a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 before university and
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
. For
Use synonyms
one part of
Correct determiner usage
some
show examples
 students,
this
Linking Words
 is a good chance to travel around the world, to make new friends and to find oneself.
However
Linking Words
, for another part of young people,
this
Linking Words
 is nothing more than a waste not only of money, but
also
Linking Words
 a waste of time. From my point of view,
Use synonyms
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 individual thing
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 if I had
a
Correct article usage
the
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 possibility, I would like to spend
one
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 in unforgettable adventure. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 could help me to figure out who I want to be. There are a number of advantages of a
year
Use synonyms
 of travelling. The main
one
Use synonyms
 is that you can explore countries and learn about different cultures,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will develop your inner world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, during your journey you can meet a huge number of interesting
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
, and from everyone you will learn something essential that will change and make your personality.
Additionally
Linking Words
, taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 can help people to decide what profession to choose and to understand what they really want without any pressure. So, a
year
Use synonyms
 of travelling after graduation brings an important and exciting experience.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 type of spending time does not suit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every student. The general view is that the
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 is expensive and not everyone can afford it. Another crucial reason is that
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 is a waste of important time that
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 could spend in university and learning significant subjects and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their skills.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is important to think carefully about
one
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
being
Change preposition
of
show examples
 travelling , because for someone it is a chance to decide better about their future, but for other
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of students it is not important at all, and for them
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 better to spend
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 in university or
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
working.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but the side against a gap year is shorter.
task response
Give one or two clear examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in all parts of the essay, not only in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph balance. The second body paragraph is much shorter than the first one.
task response
You answer the question and discuss both views.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, middle, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs to organize your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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