The flow chart below shows the procedures to get a driving license in US

the diagram illustrates the process by which a driving
license
Use synonyms
is obtained in the US.
overall
Linking Words
, the process of getting a US driving
license
Use synonyms
requires 2 main stages. it starts with going to the driving
license
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office and continues with an eyesight
test
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being taken before having the written and road
exam
Use synonyms
. looking at the detail, in the first stage, going to the driving
license
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centre and filling in the forms is necessary for taking an eyesight
test
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later. those failing
this
Linking Words
test
Use synonyms
can not have a
license
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,
while
Linking Words
those passing the eyesight
exam
Use synonyms
need to pay fees in order to take part in the written and road
test
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. the process continues with having the written
test
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. some people failing
this
Linking Words
test
Use synonyms
have 2 other chances to retake the written
exam
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. if they do not pass these tests, they need to pay fees to start again. those passing the written
test
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the first time need to do the road
test
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.
while
Linking Words
passing
this
Linking Words
exam
Use synonyms
can get a driving
license
Use synonyms
, failing it needs to pay fees again.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words license, test, exam with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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