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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Developing
country’s
Correct article usage
a country’s
show examples
 economy is becoming the main priority for many governments,
while
 others believe that local councils should
also
 pay attention to other
fields
 equally. I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the latter view. There are several reasons why governments prioritize economic progress over improving other
fields
. For one, with good financial health, authorities can focus on other
fields
 like
education
 and
healthcare
.
However
, if the
government
 is not in
amazing
Correct article usage
an amazing
show examples
 financial state,
this
country
 may face some challenges in the way of improving
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
overall
 condition.
Thus
, by achieving economic goals, the
government
 can afford to provide better living conditions and more job opportunities. Another aspect is that
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 financial state makes the
country
 an attractive place for foreign investors, as investors know that they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 face some money-related problems like insufficient bank
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 in these types of countries. As everyone accepted, major
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
 create a chance to enhance other
areas
, leading to a simultaneous improvement of many
areas
.
On the other hand
, local councils need to make progress in other
areas
 which is becoming the main indicators of the
country
’s well-being.
For example
,
education
 is one of the
areas
 which is helpful and practical for every
country
. With a help of
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
education
system
, the
government
 can build
solid
Add an article
a solid
show examples
 base of knowledgeable people, as well-educated workers contribute most to the development of the nation.
Last
 but not least,
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
system
 should be well enough and developed as much as possible.
This
 is because if local residents are not satisfied with
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
system
, they tend to move to other countries with an intention of finding advanced hospitals and
Add an article
the general
show examples
general
Change the word
generally
show examples
 good
healthcare
system
. In
this
 way, the
country
 may suffer from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reduction
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees and other
diffuculties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
 as well. After all, advanced
education
 and
healthcare
system
 contribute to the development of the
country
 equally as
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 economy does. In conclusion, it is worth admitting that economic progress can be beneficial in many respects, yet it does not mean that other
fields
 can be ignored by the
government
.
Submitted by gulihabibullayeva6 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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