IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

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It is said that some
individuals
Use synonyms
 are not qualified in school;
however
Linking Words
, they become successful later in life through learning other skills. There are a few significant reasons for
this
Linking Words
 , which will be explained in the following paragraph.
Also
Linking Words
, if people aim to achieve success, determination is highly important. One of the major reasons is the lack of interest in academic studies, as schools often give more attention to theoretical work over practical skills.
However
Linking Words
, some students love to engage in extracurricular activities which allow them to develop a strong passion towards sports, singing and maybe cooking.
For instance
Linking Words
, having written exams and assignments in schools increase mental stress of learners, as some of them may find it challenging to learn difficult subjects
such
Linking Words
 as maths and science.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these students receive low grades in final exams, affecting their academic performance.
Although
Linking Words
 there are numerous aspects to achieve success, determination is a significant factor which strengthens the urge to attain something important in life. Those
individuals
Use synonyms
 who failed in the early years of life would have learned to overcome difficulties as they had experienced them before. If people remain confident and consistent about their work, they create remarkable opportunities in their lives, resulting in living the best lifestyle.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
individuals
Use synonyms
 should be serious about their achievements because there is no evidence that only academic education can provide better opportunities. There are alternative options for a more effective career. In conclusion, even though it is true that theory work builds foundational skills, other perspectives can not be overlooked. Since there are significant examples of those
individuals
Use synonyms
 who have developed their careers in different fields ,
such
Linking Words
 as singers, chefs and sportspersons.
Hence
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, it is all about interest, motivation and consistency , which offer a great level of success.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say clearly why some people do not do well at school but still do well later, and then say what one thing is most important for success.
task response
Give one or two clear examples. Your ideas about sports, singing, and cooking are good, but they need one simple real example or a fuller made-up example.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Some points are good, but a few are too general, so the answer feels a little thin in places.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. To improve, make each body paragraph stay on one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some are helpful, but a few are not natural or are overused. Keep them simple and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection inside paragraphs. Some sentences do not flow smoothly, so the reader must work harder to follow your meaning.
task response
You answered both parts of the question, so the reader can see your main position.
task response
You gave a clear main idea: school is not the only path to success, and determination matters a lot.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are grouped in a logical order, and the message is generally easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • succeed
  • life
  • school
  • fail
  • later
  • important
  • reason
  • people
  • sometimes
  • but
  • yet
  • because
  • so
  • life skills
  • real life
  • skill
  • problem
  • solve
  • learn
  • growth mindset
  • attitude
  • effort
  • hard work
  • practice
  • habit
  • discipline
  • focus
  • time
  • plan
  • goal
  • dream
  • change
  • adapt
  • failure
  • mistake
  • bounce back
  • support
  • family
  • friends
  • teachers
  • guide
  • opportunity
  • luck
  • chance
  • success
  • happiness
  • health
  • relationships
  • definition
  • education
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