IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantage of technology outweigh the disadvantages

#people #media #touch #news #events #advantage #technology
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This
Linking Words
 day, most people
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 to stay updated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their loved ones and other people. I positively agree with
this
Linking Words
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
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 to communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others. Currently, in
this
Linking Words
generation
Add a comma
,generation
show examples
 we are more in relying
on
Correct quantifier usage
more on
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 to have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 effective
way
Use synonyms
 when it comes to communicating in long distance
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 even
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our loved ones unlike the old ways of past
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 using email or writing a letter and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 the letter or email for about less than a month or worse more than a month in
such
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 drawbacks to
misunderstanding
Add an article
a misunderstanding
the misunderstanding
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 of individuals, much worried to their family far away what her or his condition, and especially to a person who are suffering from
illness
Add an article
an illness
show examples
 they need more emotional support. In my opinion, I am much more pro to social
media
Use synonyms
 since
this
Linking Words
 is
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 generation and it gives
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
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 us. Getting accurate information
to
Change preposition
about
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 other members of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is going through in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 easiest
way
Use synonyms
 just to call them anytime you want; it is
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a relief and better
way
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of communication
show examples
communication
Replace the word
communicating
show examples
 especially for those people who can't go to their family when having a crucial event because of financial status
this
Linking Words
 is the
way
Use synonyms
 to reach out and witness what
is the
Change to the active voice
does the real happen
has the real happened
show examples
real
Replace the word
really
show examples
 happened. In my conclusion, in
this
Linking Words
 world there are many positive effects and drawbacks when you
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 since you are the one who used to; you need more responsible on how is the proper to use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 and
also
Linking Words
 know the disadvantages
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 ways you can use it for a long time and help all of us that don't need to worry about the effects and benefits.
Submitted by cristelsarondo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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