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Band 4.5

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantage of technology outweigh the disadvantages

#people #media #touch #news #events #advantage #technology
This
 day, most people
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 social
media
 to stay updated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their loved ones and other people. I positively agree with
this
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to communicate
to
Change preposition
with
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 others. Currently, in
this
generation
Add a comma
,generation
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 we are more in relying
on
Correct quantifier usage
more on
show examples
 social
media
 to have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 effective
way
 when it comes to communicating in long distance
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 even
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our loved ones unlike the old ways of past
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 using email or writing a letter and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 the letter or email for about less than a month or worse more than a month in
such
way
 drawbacks to
misunderstanding
Add an article
a misunderstanding
the misunderstanding
show examples
 of individuals, much worried to their family far away what her or his condition, and especially to a person who are suffering from
illness
Add an article
an illness
show examples
 they need more emotional support. In my opinion, I am much more pro to social
media
 since
this
 is
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 generation and it gives
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
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 us. Getting accurate information
to
Change preposition
about
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 other members of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is going through in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 easiest
way
 just to call them anytime you want; it is
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a relief and better
way
Change preposition
of communication
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communication
Replace the word
communicating
show examples
 especially for those people who can't go to their family when having a crucial event because of financial status
this
 is the
way
 to reach out and witness what
is the
Change to the active voice
does the real happen
has the real happened
show examples
real
Replace the word
really
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 happened. In my conclusion, in
this
 world there are many positive effects and drawbacks when you
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 social
media
 since you are the one who used to; you need more responsible on how is the proper to use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 and
also
 know the disadvantages
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
 ways you can use it for a long time and help all of us that don't need to worry about the effects and benefits.
Submitted by cristelsarondo on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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