You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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Recently, the healthcare system has witnessed a lot of improvements because of an increase in funding and the use of sophisticated technology.

This

Linking Words

has allowed it to grow its capacity to care for lots of old people. As the population of the elderly

continue

Correct subject-verb agreement

continues

show examples

to rise, I strongly believe that society has all it takes to withstand

this

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upward movement.

This

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can be managed by an increase in the sum total of young people in the populace and a reduction in health management costs for the aged.

Firstly

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, the government must find ways to ensure that its population of youth is more than the elderly.

For instance

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, some countries are beginning to relax their immigration laws to accommodate foreign young people

while

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also

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improving their birth rate.

As a result

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this

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, the proportion of youths to elderly is maintained.

Thus

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helping the community

Verb problem

apply

show examples

take care of more elderly.

Secondly

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, the government must find ways to ensure that health management is affordable to its senior citizens.

For example

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, it can look at a reduction in the cost of caregiving and offer subsidies on healthcare benefits for the old.

This

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ensures that they are properly taken care of.

Hence

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allowing the community to cope with the rise in the number of the aged in its populace. In conclusion, increase in the sum total of youngins and making well-being management benefits affordable for the elderly, society can withstand the rising figure of senior citizens it has.

Therefore

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, as we continue to witness continuous growth in the figure of senior citizens, the community through its health system and growth in the sum total of its younger generation has everything to manage

this

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upward movement.

Submitted by charlesobum24 on Tue Apr 04 2023

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General Feedback

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas in a clearer and more coherent manner. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion have a stronger presence in the essay. Provide more specific examples to support your points and ensure a complete and comprehensive response to the task prompt.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some cities have spent a large amount of money on bicycles. Why has this happened? Do you think it is the best way to solve traffic problems?

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