IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and eduation. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #government #money #arts #people #health #eduation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As many say education is more important for kids as well
arts
also
 should add to the curriculum,knowledge is wealth, that's why,people should have education
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 the primary choice,and both views will be discussed. Knowledge is divine,it comes through literacy, and every person in the country should be ,excel in it,on the other ,hand art shows the culture of the area,it shows our ancestors, lifestyle and how their used service,it carries and shows the younger generation,so that they could learn,heritage about the country,carry forward to
further
 generation, majority of the population tend to opt for the study than
arts
, only 10 % of the people could be seen for approaching
arts
, through its added in the school,for matologycaly :al the time they can not focus on studies they need some break,
arts
 are engaging with ,
arts
 or sports, which relaxes them and boost up the energy,
also
 healthy. On the other ,hand
Arts
 are a reflection of heritage,some
arts
 show the lifestyle and local cultures,like sculpturing,drawing, and painting,by seeing the images , the message is forwarded effectively to others,In ,India there are many excellent artists are there who shine the country worldwide,if talk about music AR Rehman is one of the famous music directors,like the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
way mastering some local traditional artistic culture we can more into cultural activities can be presented at the exhibition. In conclusion,education and
arts
 are parallelly grown,literacy is a basic necessity,where add on one,it depends on person to person,on their own choice,which one they are interested the more,
according to
 the personal choice that would be suggested.
Submitted by karuna.mk220 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: