IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

One of the most important issues facing the world today is a shortage of food and some think genetically modified foods are a possible solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The world today, is facing a major challenge because of the lack of
food
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. People around the world, are coming up with new ways to tackle
this
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 problem, by modifying the chemical structure of
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food
Add an article
the food
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. In my opinion, I believe that eating artificial
food
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 will cause many
health
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 problems,
therefore
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 other solutions could resolve
this
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 issue. Many chronic problems that individuals face today are caused by an unhealthy diet. Unfortunately, our poor choices do not go unnoticed by our bodies,
instead
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, it is greatly affected.
For instance
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, Individuals who eat a lot of fatty foods are prone to cholesterol and diabetes; the pancreas secretes insulin to our kidneys at certain levels ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 when we intake high levels of sugar the pancreas is covered with fats and is unable to carry out its function.
Thus
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, diabetic people have to inject insulin into their bodies to maintain their sugar levels.
On the other hand
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, governments can fund farmers to encourage the growth of agriculture, with more land available for crops to grow. Indeed, not only will
this
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 will help to provide new job opportunities, but it will
also
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 ensure a healthier future. A recent study by Harvard University stated that
,
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apply
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 areas, where locals are more likely to feed off their crops, have shown excellent
health
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 results; almost none are suffering from any
health
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 disorders.
In addition
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, our mental
health
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 is very much affected by our physical
health
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, people who eat more junk
food
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 are more likely to suffer emotional-eating disorders. In conclusion, our bodies are greatly affected by the
food
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 we supplement them with,
therefore
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 I believe it is very important to be extra cautious of what you feed them.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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