In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

By
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
virtue of globalization in
this
advanced living era, the availability of diverse food options from across the globe in many countries has sparked a controversial debate.
This
phenomenon, especially in some developing countries like Vietnam, poses a complex question: Do the positive effects of
this
culinary
diversity
dominate its potential negative influences? On the one hand,
skeptics
Change the spelling
sceptics
show examples
of the statements that reference universal
cuisine
may argue that
this
implementation not only provides individuals access to deeper insights and appreciation in terms of cultures but
also
drastically supports a country’s economic progression.
First,
it is understandable that when a global culinary exchange is applied, the citizens of a nation may have an opportunity to explore cultural
diversity
through the dishes they use, namely the richness of Chinese tastes or the appreciated simplicity of Japanese
cuisine
without
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to these countries.
second,
multi-food choices act as an incentive for a nation’s economic development. Since
this
culinary innovation is widely introduced, more foodies would dedicate their money to trying the
diversity
of worldwide
cuisine
within their nation, leading to the promising growth of their country’s economy.
On the other hand
, despite the aforementioned positive promises, global food options would have more detrimental impacts on global warming issues and a nation’s cultural traditions. It should be remembered that to transport the ingredients and materials needed for creating these universal dishes, a significant amount of fossil fuel will be used, deteriorating the greenhouse issue of the world. Another negative effect of worldwide
cuisine
reference is that
this
method tremendously contributes to the loss of a country’s cultural
diversity
. If overseas dishes are being consumed broadly, local and traditional food will be ignored,
therefore
gradually leading to the loss of national identity and traditions. In conclusion,
while
universal
cuisine
choices hold some economic benefits and cultural understanding, the disadvantages of environmental degradation and national tradition aspects are too important to be overlooked. Only if
this
suggestion is managed thoughtfully can a nation’s cultural and economic fabric be perfectly enriched.
Submitted by hieu.ho on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You should aim to clearly address all parts of the task. Ensure that your opinion on whether the benefits do indeed outweigh the drawbacks is explicit and sustained throughout the essay. Avoid sitting on the fence.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, while the essay generally flows well from one idea to the next, more could be done to improve the logical structure. Consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices, and ensure your paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences that directly relate to the question.
task achievement
Your essay does include relevant examples, but they can be further elaborated upon. Ensure that any benefits or drawbacks discussed are supported by specific, detailed examples that convincingly back up your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: