In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reasons for your answer and include any relavent examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 workds.

#cultures #children #message #relavent #workds

There is a common belief in some cultures that trying hard enough can bring success for anything. They are often advising

this

idea for their children.

This

essay will discuss the main advantages and disadvantages of

this

suggestion.

Firstly

, trying something hard or practising enough promotes dedication and consistency

for

Change preposition

show examples

a certain area. These skills are

higly

Correct your spelling

highly

important to develop habits for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

achievement.

For example

, lots of successful scientists

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

more than 10 hours a day.

Moreover

, they are dedicating themselves

for

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show examples

only a

spesific

Correct your spelling

specific

field.

For instance

, one of the most popular scientists from Turkey, Aziz Sancar, is

revaling

Correct your spelling

revealing

rivalling

the fact that he was studying more than 14 hours a day when he was an undergraduate university student. Eventually, he is the

last

person

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

awarded

Add a missing verb

was awarded

show examples

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apply

show examples

the Nobel Prize from Turkey.

Secondly

, there are many disadvantages

such

as overtraining, and burnout. There are the main drawbacks of working or trying hard for something.

In addition

, gaining full of autonomy for consistency easily affects the mental health and physical well-being of individuals. For illustration, I'm always feeling exhausted

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during

show examples

exam weeks. Studying

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for more

show examples

than 5 or 6 hours always

leads

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lead

show examples

to mental breakdowns. From my point of view, I experienced overtraining during

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

all university

finals

Correct pronoun usage

my finals

show examples

Nevertheless

, there is a common belief that "

practise

Correct your spelling

practice

show examples

makes everything perfect", is not

an empty advice

Remove the article

empty advice

a piece of empty advice

a bit of empty advice

show examples

. Success has never been only related

with

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show examples

coincidences. It is more than that. In conclusion, some people believe that children are frequently told that with a proper effort, they can achieve whatever they want. My experiences confirm

this

relevant idea. Dedication and consistency, without hesitation, are fundamental advantages of the idea

besides

disadvantages.

Submitted by historicalpen on Fri Apr 07 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today’s food travel thousands of miles before it reaches the customer. Some people say that it would be better for the economy and environment if people ate food produced from local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?

Tell us about a day where you went out and had fun

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or negative development