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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Teenagers are spending too much time on computers and this will lead to a severe problem in their mental and physical health. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#teenagers #time #computers #health
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In the present
day
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, young
people
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 are spending too much
time
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 on
computers
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 and
this
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 will be affected their mental and physical health. In my ,
opinion
Add an article
an opinion
the opinion
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 I agree that sitting for long hours on
computers
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 will have many
problems
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 for our young
people
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the negative things about spending my
time
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 on
computers
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.
Firstly
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, many
people
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 who spend much
time
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 on the Internet
such
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 as
people
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 who spend
time
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 more than 8 hours per
day
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 there will have
problems
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 with their health like their eyes will be short and their back will hurt.
Secondly
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, many young
people
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 spend too much
time
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 with computer games that some
computers
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 are very harmful to children
for example
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, in ,America many students copy online games and kill
people
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 in schools.
In addition
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, many students who spend a lot of
time
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 on
computers
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 there have
problems
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 with their weight and
also
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 they have
problems
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 with socialising because someone only meets
people
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 online.
On the other hand
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, in the modern world, it is good to spend too much
time
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 on the computer because everything is changing ,
for example
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, many companies give the employee the can work from home and our life must
use
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 the internet every
time
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. So, it is very important to
use
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 a computer every
day
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 and for long hours.
To conclude
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,I totally agree that spending too much
time
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 on
computers
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 is very dangerous for teenagers in mental and physical health.
However
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, now a
day
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 we need to
use
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computers
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 in our life and we need to spend more
time
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 on
computers
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such
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 as work or study.
Therefore
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, I think is very important to control teenagers'
use
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 of
computers
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.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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