There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

#live #performance #play #concert #home #television

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is widely commonly argued that

people

don’t need to attend a

live

performance

(a play or

concert

) because seeing it at

home

on television is better. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with

this

statement for a variety of reasons. I partly agree that

people

don’t need to attend a

live

performance

(a play or

concert

). One of the main reasons can be that

people

usually don’t like

concerts

because of the high cost.

This

means that they must pay a lot of money to purchase a ticket. Another reason can be that

when

Rephrase

apply

show examples

watching a

concert

on TV is surely cheaper and even more comfortable.

For example

, I could invite my friends and spend a pleasant evening watching the event

altogether

Rephrase

together

show examples

On the other hand

, I disagree about seeing a

live

performance

(play or

concert

) at

home

on television.

Firstly

, we can enjoy a lively atmosphere at the

concerts

with a crowd more than staying at

home

This

is because of the lighting and the emotions of the audience there, which can’t happen at

home

For example

, I can see my favourite singer on the stage, singing and dancing

together with

thousands of

people

That is

an experience I'll never forget.

Secondly

live

concerts

offer a great platform and a unique opportunity for real music fans to get close and personal favourite artists, singers, instrumentalists and bands. In conclusion,

although

watching a

live

performance

home

is cheaper than attending a

live

performance

, I’m convinced that the atmosphere at

live

concerts

will be an experience never to forget.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Fri Apr 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

cohesion

Avoid repetition of phrases like 'live performance' repeatedly in the same sentences.

content

Work on clarity of arguments. Some points could be argued more effectively.

language

Use more varied sentence structures to make your essay more engaging.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this?
Many festivals are currently in existence, and most of them are becoming outdated and meaningless. In my opinion, the degradation of traditional festivals is causing cultural disintegration, and both local people and the government must work together to put it into practice.
5
band
In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Age is a significant aspect of cultural identity and social norms in many societies. In some cultures, old age is highly valued and older people are respected for their wisdom, knowledge and experience. In contrast, youth is often considder more important in other cultures, where the emphasis is on innovation, progress and the potential of the young.
5
band
Walking is known to be beneficial for health but these days the number of people walking has reduced a lot. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this situation?
Walking is believed to be advantageous for health, nevertheless, there is a decreasing number of people walking nowadays. This is because in modern society, people prefer to surfing the internet and using high-tech tools to improve their health instead of walking. To deal with this phenomenon, the authorities should propagate more about the drawbacks of not walking regularly and encourage residents to use walking machines.
5
band
Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?
Public celebrations like national days, festivals, etc are held in many countries. Because of that, people argue that governments should expend money on more valuable things and celebrations like these are quite pricely. In my perspective, I am on the both sides. I will discuss it on this essay.
4
band
The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is no dyning the fact that fules are the bigest issues among of other pollutions subctense.Whlie it is a commonly held belief sugestion the government to takle this issue by increase fule price,there is also an argument opposes it.In my opinion, i consider the athurity have to do a view simpl steps to solve the of this issue rathar than gets the price high.

There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this?

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Walking is known to be beneficial for health but these days the number of people walking has reduced a lot. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this situation?

Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?