IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and tradition methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#convenience #foods #tradition #methods #food #preparation
Nowadays, traditional
foods
 and ancient ways of
food
 preparation are losing their popularity among people across different parts of the world.
While
 more and more people are switching towards convenience
foods
, there are very few who still love to enjoy the traditional taste. In my opinion, traditional cooking
methods
 and
foods
 will still prevail despite the increasing acceptance of modern
food
. Undoubtedly, there is an increase in the consumption of convenience
foods
 irrespective of regions across the globe.
This
 is mainly because individuals find it easy to cook these types of cuisines which saves them a significant amount of time.
For instance
, in Australia, cooked tortillas are available in packed form; a person who purchases
this
 product can convert it into an eatable form within no time.
Additionally
,
this
 gives them extra time to spend on other crucial tasks.
Hence
, canned
foods
 can be considered as a reliable option.
Conversely
, there are still some people who believe that the taste of traditional
food
 is unbeatable. They argue that even though the old cooking method is time-consuming, the
food
 is more tastier and healthier. In certain parts of India,
for instance
, the villagers do not use any modern cooking equipment, rather they use hands for preparation. A group of young individuals who tasted their
food
 completely agreed to
this
 fact and posted a video on social media, promoting these techniques.
Therefore
, we can unarguably say that a minority still enjoys traditional cuisines. It is undeniable that modern
food
 and cooking
methods
 are rapidly gaining importance and acceptance.
However
, it is
also
 true that a small majority of the population follows traditional
methods
. In short, both modern and traditional cuisines and cooking
methods
 co-exist in
this
 world.
Submitted by gloriasherin on

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task achievement
Consider expanding the explanation and discussion of why convenience foods are becoming popular. Provide more specific reasons and examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly connect your examples to the point you are making. For instance, the video example about Indian villagers can be elaborated to show more clearly how it supports the argument for traditional methods.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the main points discussed.
relevant specific examples
The essay uses appropriate examples to illustrate points, making the argument more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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