Some people believe what children watch on TV influences their behavior. Some say it is the amount of time watching television that influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many regions in the world, some people believe
this
is undoubtedly advantageous for some
children
would demonstrate some negative aggressive behaviour by watching
TV
,
while
others concur that how much
time
they watch produces more effects on their actions. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on both sides and state what I thinking There is a persuasive argument that the content on the
TV
would lead to demonstrating aggressive behaviours in
children
.
This
is because
children
are very naive and easy to mimic what adults do.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
that, many
TV
series, music videos, and advertisements contain violent formation. When they watch many contents like
this
about using beer or addictive things or sexual, violent action,
this
simulates their curiosity and
thus
they mimic what they saw.
As a result
,
this
can adversely affect the development of
children
.
Nevertheless
, many people claim that the amount of
time
they watch
TV
would affect to offspring's behaviour and attitude. Chief among these is that spending a lot of
time
watching videos will lead to a sedentary lifestyle in
children
.
However
, the effect of overexposure to technology and media is not as big an impact on the contents.
This
can result in the fact that a proactive lifestyle would affect the health hazards of
children
. Countless real-life examples have shown that many heirs nowadays often suffer from cardiovascular diseases and obesity, and
this
comes from lying for many hours in front of the
TV
screen. In conclusion, it is understandable why some may argue that the
time
their
children
are overexposed to technology and media is a serious effect on the behaviour and attitude of offspring.
However
, I would take the view that the content they watch is the main reason
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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