Some people believe what children watch on TV influences their behavior. Some say it is the amount of time watching television that influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In many regions in the world, some people believe

this

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is undoubtedly advantageous for some

children

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would demonstrate some negative aggressive behaviour by watching

Use synonyms

while

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others concur that how much

time

Use synonyms

they watch produces more effects on their actions. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on both sides and state what I thinking There is a persuasive argument that the content on the

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would lead to demonstrating aggressive behaviours in

children

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This

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is because

children

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are very naive and easy to mimic what adults do.

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

that, many

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series, music videos, and advertisements contain violent formation. When they watch many contents like

this

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about using beer or addictive things or sexual, violent action,

this

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simulates their curiosity and

thus

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they mimic what they saw.

As a result

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this

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can adversely affect the development of

children

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Nevertheless

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, many people claim that the amount of

time

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they watch

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would affect to offspring's behaviour and attitude. Chief among these is that spending a lot of

time

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watching videos will lead to a sedentary lifestyle in

children

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However

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, the effect of overexposure to technology and media is not as big an impact on the contents.

This

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can result in the fact that a proactive lifestyle would affect the health hazards of

children

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. Countless real-life examples have shown that many heirs nowadays often suffer from cardiovascular diseases and obesity, and

this

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comes from lying for many hours in front of the

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screen. In conclusion, it is understandable why some may argue that the

time

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their

children

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are overexposed to technology and media is a serious effect on the behaviour and attitude of offspring.

However

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, I would take the view that the content they watch is the main reason

vihoaithichnguSat Apr 08 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

influence behavior
imitate actions
programming
empathy
aggressive behavior
antisocial behavior
excessive television watching
physical development
contributing to obesity
impact academic performance
monitoring the content
setting reasonable time limits

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Some people believe what children watch on TV influences their behavior. Some say it is the amount of time watching television that influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Encouraging people to use public transport is the best way to solve traffic problems in cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You participated in a public event organized at a local park. Write a letter to the event organizer. In your letter tell them some feedback about the event; explain what you particularly enjoyed; give some suggestions for improvement.

Some people think that immigrating to other countries is a positive development. Do you agree or disagree with that?