IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter • say why he/she would not enjoy going to college • explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her • suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

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Dear Niloo, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. It was great to hear from you and I'm glad you reached out to me for advice. I understand that it's a difficult decision to make whether to continue your studies or find a job, but I think it's better for you to try to get a job. I would like to write the reasons why. As I know you personally, you always like to work and improve your
career's
Change noun form
career
show examples
 path.
In addition
Linking Words
, going to college, especially
Iranian
Correct article usage
an Iranian
show examples
 college,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
wouldn't be beneficial for you because you could only meet people who are around your age and same language.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not good for your language development.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , if you enter in business words you
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 gain valuable experience which will build your resume and enhance your skills for future employment. I think you should work in a big retail store as a salesperson or perhaps join a small company that serves customers directly. It makes sense as it would be easier to find a job in your city and you would learn more about
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
 environment closely. I hope my suggestion will help you decide what is best for you. Best regards, Armita

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single idea per paragraph
Ensure each paragraph contains a single clear idea to enhance readability.
logical structure
Maintain a consistent logical flow throughout the letter by clearly linking each paragraph's idea to the next.
complete response
The response completely addresses the prompt by providing reasons for not going to college, benefits of getting a job, and job suggestions.
suitable writing tone
The writing tone is suitable, friendly, and appropriate for a letter to a friend.
greeting and closing
The letter includes both a greeting and a closing, which is important in maintaining a polite and friendly tone.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • On-the-job training
  • Student loan debt
  • Personal growth
  • Professional networking
  • Career development
  • Skilled workers
  • Job market
  • Career goals
  • Immediate income
  • Professional relationships
  • Market demand
  • Defining interests
  • Educational investments
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